Out Of My Head and Into The World
I’ve spent so much time over the last year in a space of self-reflection, growth, change, etc. and I realized something really important: I’m fucking exhausted. I’m so tired of analyzing my thoughts and experiences, of turning over things in my mind over and over until I process what’s happening or at least try to understand it a teeny bit.
So, I decided to take a little vacation.
From my mind.
Soaking in the outdoors (whilst looking for mushrooms)
Self-reflection is terrific and important, but I do think there are times when you’re SO in your head that you forget to, well, LIVE.
These last few weeks, I’ve been practicing living. I decided to get out of my dreams and into the…no…get out of my HEAD and into the WORLD.
Hello, World!
Practicing living sounds so dumb, but there’s some truth to it. I don’t know if it’s because of the pandemic, or my natural introvert tendencies, or being a writer/creative, but I spend a lot of time in my home. I work here, I rest here, I play here. I‘ve forgotten what it’s like to have a life outside of myself.
I decided to do an experiment, I would say YES to things for a while, to friends but also to myself.
Step One:
I’d do things with others and not wait for the man I’m seeing to ask me to spend time with him. If a friend asked me out to do something, I’d go. Walk around the lake? YES. Go to Art Prize? YES. Meet for cocktails? YES. Even if I was tired or overwhelmed, I’d practice saying yes and get into the habit of building a life outside of myself that didn’t depend on one single person.
Step Two:
I’d do things for myself. I’d see if there were any classes I could take, or events I could attend on my own without feeling the need for a partner.
Step Three:
When I’d feel myself getting into a loop of thoughts or super deep reflection, I’d try to sidetrack myself and take a walk, sing a song, watch a show…just to distract my mind a bit so I can rest from the self-reflection. Just to let my brain breathe.
I’ve been doing these things for three weeks and I can say the change is extraordinary. Suddenly, my life has expanded.
I went with a group of friends to see the show ONCE. We had a lovely dinner beforehand and talked and laughed, which fed not only my body, but my soul. Seeing the live theatrical performance inspired and lifted my spirit.
I walked around Art Prize with a friend. We had drinks and chatted. Pointed at things, laughed. Wandered.
I took a class on mushrooms to learn about what they are and how they’re beneficial.
Mushroom class
I did yoga in the woods with a group of eccentrics, and then we sat quietly in the woods and just paid attention.
I had a body masque an a mini facial at a salon. I walked a lot. I ran some.
Oh, friends!
I had dinner with my girlfriends. I went to my niece’s wedding without a plus one, and was able to connect more with my family because of it.
I had an amazing dinner/date night with the man I’ve been seeing. I dressed up, I wore heels, he held my hand as we walked. We had great food and conversation, and cocktails, and I just let that evening be what it was. I just felt grateful to be with him and to be held by him. I didn’t talk about where we were or where we were going (well, I tried not to), I just tried to be in the moment and enjoy it.
Over these few weeks, I’ve given my spirit a little time to rest. To not think or analyze or question, but to just BE.
Whew. I didn’t know how much I needed this until I gave myself a little space.
Family
It’s important to think about things, to analyze, to process, to feel, to understand, but I think it’s also important to connect with others and to connect with yourself. It’s important to LIVE. It’s a hand-to-heart kind of thing, I guess. Hand on your heart, deep breath, eyes closed, and just listen. Be still. Be thankful. Be.
I hope wherever you’re at with life and love, that you can give yourself a little time and space to have fun, to go out, to tell your brain “I’ll come back to you, but right now, I’m going outside to play.”
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ABOUT TANYA EBY
Tanya is a writer and narrator. You can find her on Instagram (Tanya-Eby), Twitter (@Blunder_Woman) and FB. She is still practicing this idea of saying yes to things, as long as those things aren’t creepy or put her in danger. When not narrating or writing, she watches a lot of scary movies, Netflix series, and coking shows. She walks her dogs and praises them for doing their business.