Bodice Ripper vs Real Life

Screen Shot 2014-12-03 at 8.09.39 PM I’ve narrated (and read) a ton of romances. One of my favorite moments, a moment that clues you in to the fact that the guy is a keeper, is when the hero tucks a strand of hair behind the heroine’s ear. Now, I know, it’s a little cheesy, but it’s also soul-meltingly sweet. You can always tell a guy is good if animals love him and he tucks hair. It’s like one of those universal law things…like…you know…gravity.

Imagine my surprise when I recently experienced a moment like this—a moment from romantic fiction—IN MY REAL LIFE. With my husband, no less! (Of course, I already know he’s a keeper.)

We were in the kitchen the day before Thanksgiving and I was busy making a pie crust or something. I was telling him about my day when he cupped my face in his hands and said softly, “Shh. There’s something under your eye.” Now this wasn’t hair-tucking, but a man gently cupping a woman’s face while he sweetly brushes away a stray eyelash is…dare I say it…sexy.

Only he kept brushing.

And that eyelash or whatever wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sorry,” he said. “I thought you had something under your eye. It turns out it was just a skin tag.”

….. ……….. …………….. WHHhHhhhHhHHAAAAaaaTTT? Are you kidding me? It’s “Just a skin tag!!!”

My entire body convulsed with the sheer horror and I immediately ran upstairs to stare at myself in the mirror.

My life, most assuredly, is not a romance novel.

But my husband is still a keeper.

Skin tag, though. Gross.