Bring on the Staycation and Charlton Heston

Tomorrow, I start my vacation—or rather, my STAYcation. I’m not going anwyhere. I’ve had a few days off this week…but nothing like what’s coming. What IS coming? Uh….er….nothing. I mean it. NOTHING.  

I have six days with no teaching, no narrating…and no children. They’ll be with their dad and stepmom at some cottage. I haven’t had a week to myself with no obligations in, oh, nearly eight years.

I’m a little terrified, frankly.


I don’t think I know how to relax. I certainly don’t know how to not obsess. I’m obsessing even as I write this. I have a meeting with the company I narrate for on Tuesday. They need to talk to me about some ‘issues’ they’re having with me. I’m already thinking of how I can grovel and plead so that I can keep narrating. It’s like I’m suddenly in a dystopian novel and I will accept responsibility and do whatever they want me to, but please let me be safe. And by ‘be safe’ I mean, please let me keep narrating. Yeah. Just like a dystopian novel. Please keep me safe and don’t feed me people…as in ‘people-burgers’…as in ‘SOYLENT GREEN.’


That makes me think of Charlton Heston.

Man, I love his overacting. Even the Christian epics. Maybe I should watch a marathon of Planet of the Apes, Soylent Green, and then top it off with some Ten Commandments. That’ll fill some time.


Right. Where was I?


Instead, my plan for the week: I have a daily schedule so that the lack of things to do doesn’t freak me out too much. Each day I want to read, write, and workout for an hour each. That’s three hours of the day structured, and the rest I can do whatever. I will try not to make complicated To Do lists like I usually do. (Today’s list has ten or so items on it.)


I plan on going to the gym for three of the six days, even though I’m freaked out by the buff housewives and the scary senior citizen who works out so hard that I’m certain he's going to have a heart attack while on the elliptical. I will brave these intimidating people because I want my body back. The one I abandoned like over a year ago for this hippier body. (Note: I said hippier, NOT hipper.)


So. Reading. Writing. Working out. I’ll throw in a matinee or two, some general napping, and trying to stick to my Eating Healthy plan for the week.


I’m so excited/terrified I can barely stand it.


Bring on the staycation! I’m ready. I really am. I can totally do this. Yep.


(Now adding to my To Do List: #12. Remember to Breathe and #13 Watch Omega Man.)