I Kissed A Girl...Blunder #2,507 Age 8

Here's a true story. The story of my first awkward love. I was 8. I was an extremely ugly little girl. If I'd been a boy, I would've been handsome. In fact, with my feathered hair and paint-spattered Michael Jackson t-shirt, people thought I was a little boy. It seemed all the girls in Mrs. Welch's class had boyfriends. Ian and Missy spent their recesses making out. Cathy flashed her frilly underpants at every boy who passed. I dug holes in the dirt and wondered if earthworms felt pain.

And then I met Aaron.

My mom signed me up for a summer class in creative writing and how to make jewelry from egg cartons. It was great. And there he was. Blond hair, blue eyes, Aaron staring right at me. "Hey," he said, "Hey," I said. We wrote together. We made matching necklaces. We held hands and sang the duet from Grease "Summer Loving." He was my destiny. At the end of the day, our affair was over. I didn't want it to be over! I wanted to be like Missy on recess sucking face. I deserved to suck face!

"Will you write me?" I asked. "Sure," he said. We wrote down our names and addresses. And then he leaned in and kissed me. Right there, in front of everyone, he kissed me! I couldn't believe it. 

Then I read his note. He spelled his name weird. Not "Aaron" like I thought but "Erin". 

"Your name's Tanya?" he said. 

"Your name's Erin?" I said. 

Wait a minute. My first love was....A GIRL!!! And she thought I was a boy. She was just as homely as I was. We were both cute boys, but as girls, man, class A woofers. We both took off running.

I never saw her again.

You know, though...it was a nice kiss.