Easy Does It

Question #4: Any Bites From Hollywood?

Bob Caustic also asked the following question: “Any nibbles from Hollywood yet? Who do you think should direct "Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage"? Who should star in "Pepper"?”


TANYA: If anyone knows anyone in Hollywood, please send them my way. Especially if it’s Drew Barrymore and her company because I really think she should direct one of my books and make it into a movie. And then she and I should go out for drinks and appetizers and then she could pay for it because I'm just a struggling writer. And then if she could buy me a gift basket stuffed with wine and gourmet food products, that'd be great. Could someone get on that please?

Sigh. Well, since we’re talking dreams here, I DO have some of the characters in mind. I could see Pepper Wellington as Susan Sarandon and Sausage as Amy Adams or that Alison chick from Buffy and How I Met Your Mother. Actually, you could take the whole cast from How I Met Your Mother and put them in the movie. Pepper just needs to be played by an older actress who has sex appeal and a pair of balls. (One of those things is just figurative.)

Patricia Heaton would be great in one of my books-as-movie. She's doing a new web series called Versailles so surely around doing that she could have time to produce a TV series around "Blunder Woman". She'd be a great mom in that.

OR for something really fun, I'd ask Martin Scorsese to direct my online dating romance "Easy Does It". Joe Pesci could play Dan the Man and Meryl Streep could play Julie, but play her with a Slavic accent, and then they could just randomly kick stuff and it would all be filmed in a single long shot with lots of smoke and violin music.

Yep. I have great ideas on how to turn my books into films. Just waiting for that call.

And waiting.

And waiting.


Screw it. I'm going to go eat some cheese.


Ever wonder where my books are set?

Admittedly, most of my 'readers' are either related to me, or are my friends so they feel a slight pressure to read my work. But there are a few of you who I don't actually know...except in a Twitter/Facebook way. At least I think there are some of you out there. So if you've ever wondered what town I'm talking about in "Easy Does It" and "Blunder Woman" well...it's featured in this video. I decided to set all my books in either my hometown of Grand Rapids, Michigan or at least in Michigan. Why? Because we aren't just Detroit. I'm not exactly sure WHO we are yet, but it's a conversation that's starting to happen as more writers, artists, musicians, etc, here are starting to keep it local and promote Grand Rapids. And I was tired of New York and LA and other places for novels. I wanted something real and attainable for my quirky characters. That's why they live in Grand Rapids right along with me. (It's pretty convenient too.)

I have to admit, when I first saw this lip dub video produced by Rob Bliss, I was underwhelmed. Why? Well, because I thought it was too slow and a depressing song. But then I thought about all the people it took to come together to do this, and how I walk past most of this area every day at work. There's the Grand Rapids Art Musuem (where the wedding is) and Rosa Parks Circle. My play was just performed at the GRAM and this video follows about half of my route to get coffee.

Then a funny thing happened. Just like the Grinch, my heart started to grow and grow...and now when I watch this...I get all weepy. I promise it's not because of PMS. No. This is all-natural emotion.

So if you wondered where Julie and Dan the Man meet for their first dinner...it's right across the street from where the pillow fight happens in this video. And Chloe from "Blunder Woman" routinely gets un-coffee downtown. She also had her undate with Matt and sat on one of the benches in the park that's all green.

That's my quick morning blog. I have seven hours to prep for teaching today. I'm sorta not ready. I will be, I just need more coffee first. Oh...and this week I'll be answering questions that were posted on my author Facebook page. Actually, my characters will be answering the questions. If there's a character you'd like to hear from, let me know. Check back later today or tomorrow.

Enjoy the video. This is my hometown.


Six Sentence Sunday 5/15/2011

Five hours after Julie posted her ad, she awoke still sitting at her computer. There was a paperclip stuck to her forehead and an empty wine bottle next to her. She picked the paperclip off her forehead and slowly dragged the cursor over the screen.

114 messages.

Then Julie saw what she'd done. “Young Treasure Seeks Seaman on Love’s Sea” became (with the help of her computer’s thesaurus and a fourth glass of merlot): “Easy Lady Requests Guy with Two Socks.”

From "Easy Does It" by Tanya Eby