Conversation With My Kids at Applebee’s Episode 4

Franz, 8; Moxie, 7 ME: You know, some people think I’m really funny.

FRANZ Whatever.

ME: Seriously! I’m like seriously funny sometimes.

FRANZ Mom. Come on. You’re not funny. You can’t be funny. You’re, like, well…you’re a goth.

(He says this like he’s telling me I’m missing an arm and no one has wanted to mention it before because they don’t want to stop pretending to high-five me.)

ME: I’m not a goth.

FRANZ: Mom. You’re a goth. I mean, come on! You’re dressed entirely in black.

ME: It’s a black dress.

FRANZ: It’s summer. You’re dressed entirely in black. You’re hair is dark. You’re wearing dark glasses. You’re all dramatic and serious and stuff. You’re a total goth.

ME: Oh.

MOXIE: Next time, Mom, talk to me before we go out. You really should’ve worn a pink necklace or something.

ME: Huh. Maybe I am a goth.

(I turn to Kealoha)

ME: Am I a goth?

KEALOHA: Sometimes, yeah.

ME: Huh. I do like writing poetry.

FRANZ: See? Goth.

ME: Eat your fish.

***

From Urban Dictionary: