Advice for Aspiring Superheroes
A How To for aspiring superheroes
Today’s question comes from a great graphic designer on Twitter. Check out @magicray . AND he makes amazing balloon animals and creations. I’m not kidding. He made me one for my birthday last year. What’s his question? Ray asks:
“What advice do you have for aspiring superheroes?”
This is a really great question, and at an important time…because right now, I think the world really needs more superheroes. I’m not joking. I mean with a bad economy and general depression feelings and broken hearts and gas pains from too much fast food, we could all use a little rescuing. Here are some bullet points in case you’re thinking of becoming a superhero. (Except I couldn’t figure out how to do bullets so I numbered it instead.)
HOW TO BE AN AVERAGE SUPERHERO
1) Choose a name. Let’s face it: most of the cool superhero names are taken. Don’t despair!! Those superheroes are from other planets or have been transformed by radioactive materials. You don’t want to be Superman or Spiderman anyway. Who wants that much baggage? No, it’s far better to be an average superhero. How do you do it? Simple. You find one thing you’re really good at and then you add Man or Woman to it. See, me, I’m brilliant at mistakes…hence, Blunder Woman. Maybe you make an amazing cookie. Then you could be Cookie Man, or better yet, The Amazing Cookie Man. Or maybe you can do fart noises with your armpit. Armpit Music Woman has a certain ring to it. Just choose the one thing you’re great at and keep it simple.
2) Make an outfit. All superhero outfits require a cape and a mask. Most outfits, especially if you’re a guy require either a unitard or tights. I like men in unitards. They look very awkward and it leaves little to the imagination. Ehm…now I’m distracted. Oh. Right. Just get a cape, a mask and maybe sew on a letter, and you are good to go.
3) Determine your Secret Identity. Your Secret Identity is your day job. Maybe you work at an office, you teach, you cook. It doesn’t matter. Just make sure you wear glasses. When you put on glasses NO ONE KNOWS YOU’RE ACTUALLY A SUPERHERO. That’s cool. Plus, I think glasses are hot. Just in general. Nothing is sexier than someone who’s smart. Unless it’s someone who’s smart, likes to give back rubs, and likes sci-fi shows. That’s on fire.
4) Practice general acts of kindness. Everyone should do this actually. It’s just good people skills. And karma.
That’s really all the advice I have. Being a superhero is hard work, but it’s also rewarding. See, now when I totally embarrass myself I feel good because I know my superpowers are working and the world is in order…and it’s so much cheaper than therapy.
Cheers,
Blunder Woman
Networking Would Be Easier With Actual Net
It occurred to me that networking would be easier with an actual net, and I had visions of me as Spiderman (Not Spiderwoman mind you. My boobs would be distracting in a suit that tight.) I has visions of me as Spiderman shooting webs from my wrists actually forcing people to talk to me and take my business card.
Okay, I know that I'm supposed to talk about Afghanistan, football, water on the moon, Thanksgiving, twitter and tweeters, and I promise I'll get there. But first I want to talk about a party I went to last night.
My favorite sound studio, Sound Post, threw a little Happy Hour. That made me laugh because it was a Happy Hour scheduled from 5:30-7:30. In the land of commercial work, Happy Hours last double long. I decided to go. And I brought cookies and little cheesecake bars because that's the kind of girl I am. A domestic dork. I should've arrived in an apron too. I do owe Sound Post for all the work they've done for me/given me and I've calculated that it amounts to a year's worth of food, my soul, and a child. I'm working on all three.
At any rate, I'm an incredibly awkward person. I guess I'm gifted that way. So when I walked in and saw all these professional people, a little part of me died. It occurred to me that networking would be easier with an actual net, and I had visions of me as Spiderman (Not Spiderwoman mind you. My boobs would be distracting in a suit that tight.) I has visions of me as Spiderman shooting webs from my wrists actually forcing people to talk to me and take my business card.
I also wanted to channel a little old fashioned Mr. T. Arrive with my white girl mowhawk, say "Whatchou talking about Willis?" and take people down. Oh, wait. That's Channeling Diffrn't Strokes. See? Awkward.
