Romancing The Orkin Man

I just wrapped narration on a very sultry story by Vivian Arend called ONE WILD RIDE. Let’s just say, it’s not about a ride in a station wagon. Unless by station wagon, you mean cowboy. So let’s say my mind was in another place. I tell you this, because when the Orkin Man showed up to talk about the couple of ants I’ve noticed in the house, and he arrived wearing very tight pants, a belt, and his white shirt stretched taut against his bulging-man-muscles, and his tag said BED BUG EXPERT, I thought, Oh, I just bet you are. And I purred that thought. I did. Also, he was young and wearing a lot of cologne.

Now, I wasn’t attracted to him. Not really. But there was an awareness that this dude could be on the cover of a romance novel. Just unbutton a couple of those buttons and have him hold his bug sprayer ‘just so’ and blammo! Every housewife’s dream.

My friend showed up around that time and we let the Orkin Man do his stuff and I tried to ignore the inner romance writer in my mind. Though I did notice that there was a strange breeze ruffling his slight disheveled hair. As if a fan was blowing.

Whatever.

So my friend and I visited, and then the Orkin Man interrupted me. “I’ve got some rather important questions,” he said. And suddenly, he was like some hardboiled detective investigating a crime. “If you’ll follow me,” he said, and I did. My friend followed too and she shot me a look. I tried not to notice.

We stood in the hallway. Was it hot? I think his pectoral muscles flexed. He pointed to the bedroom. “Do you see any action in there?”

And I gasped. I did. “Uhmmm. What?”

“Action. With the ants. You said there were two ant sightings in the hallway, but have you seen any activity in your bedroom?”

Boy have I! I wanted to say, but we were still talking about ants.

“Oh. No. Nope. There has been no action or fatalities or whatever in my bedroom.”

He ignored me and went on a very lengthy explanation about carpet ants and how their bodies were big and swollen because THEY LIKED TO MUNCH. ON WOOD. And I just started giggling. I did. They were the tremor kind of giggles. I could feel my friend’s eyes burning into me. She knew. She knew what I was thinking!

I’m not sure if he mentioned a bush, but he did mention trimming and I laughburped. God, I hate when I laughburp. I apologized. He looked hurt. He looked…I think…like he felt like the housewives he visits, never take him seriously. They never listen to his knowledge of pests and their need for eradication, and how he knows how to do that. They just look at his tight pants.

I prayed for him to stop talking. Eventually he did. I thanked him for coming. Over. To my house. To deal with the ants.

I really should not talk to other people. It’s just not wise.

****

If you want, you can listen to the blog here:

Waiting For A Publisher To Contact You Is Like Dysfunctional Dating All Over Again

Today I stood at my window, and looked out, pondering the universe while looking at my watery reflection . Then I leaned my head and sniffed my armpit. Everything seemed fine, but I was worried that maybe I smelled like onions. Or maybe I’m just weird. I returned to pondering my reflection in the glass. I looked normal enough. Whatever. Surely, today they’d call. Because, it’s just like that dude in those Saturday Night Live sketches used to affirm “I’m good enough, I’m strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like me” (even if I smell like onions).

Then Kealoha came downstairs and said: “Tanya, what the fuck are you doing?” Not in a mean way, mind you. In a soft and gentle and loving way.

Ahem.

Here’s why I was staring at myself: last month, a publisher read the first two chapters of my memoir “Popsicle Toes” and requested the whole manuscript. But it’s been over a month and I haven’t heard anything yet. And then last week, I had a speed dating session where I met five major publishers in audiobooks who all professed to find my narration really attractive and gave me their cards. I have followed up with all the publishers (one for my book and five for audio/narration work for other people’s work). I composed emails that I hope made me seem witty, carefree, professional, totally sane, totally reliable and unbelievably talented. And now…now it’s just a waiting game.

And I’m having flashbacks to my single days where I questioned everything I’ve ever said or done on a date, and tried to read into the dude’s perspective. “He said he liked me and I’m not like anyone he’s ever met so does that mean he’s interested in me, or does that mean he thinks I’m schizophrenic? I mean, does he like me or is he just being nice? And why did he breathe when he said…”

Now it’s the same thing, only I’m questioning my talent and how long do I wait before I contact the publishers again, and if I email them again, will I come off as creepy and pushy…but if I don’t email them again then maybe I’m not present in their mind and, dammit, something or someone smells like onions here and I’m going insane, but I’m totally able to handle all of this and why, why, WHY don’t they want me? Aren’t I good enough? Huh? HUH?

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I’m trying to remind myself that if they’re really, really interested in me, they’ll contact me. I mean, Kealoha filled out an application  to date me so that proves something, right? Except, it took him fifteen years to get to that point, and I really don’t want to wait fifteen years to get my book published or to get a recording gig with another publisher.

It’s time for a big ol glass of wine and to stare out the window again. If it were raining, it’d be even better. I think I’ll make faces like I’m trapped and trying to get out, just to keep the neighbors’ guessing. It will keep me from obsessing over when, or IF, my phone is ever going to ring.

(But they wouldn’t give me a business card if they weren’t interested, right? Right?)

Gah.

Tanya's Week Off

Kealoha here. Seriously. Tanya needs this week off. She's got narration, voice-overs, teaching, writing, editing.....  You get the idea.

So I told her not to stress about blogging. In fact, I've changed her password, so not only can't she blog, but she'll need to resort to leaving comments if she has anything to say!

I'm not taking all of her social media away. She still has Facebook and Twitter. And Pinterest, which I've still avoided.

Plus, this blog needs a few more references to tikis!

Limited Edition Tiki Bowl

That, dear readers, is not a Mai Tai.

In today's cocktail culture, the only safe place to have a Mai Tai is in a Tiki bar. And those are few and far between. (I would suggest searching Critiki to find the closest bar to your location, and make sure you thank them for keeping the spirit alive!)

If you can't make it to a Tiki Bar, here's an easy to follow recipe:

Trader Vic's Mai Tai

1 oz fresh lime juice ½ oz orange Curacao  (ORANGE! NOT BLUE!!!) ¼ oz orgeat syrup  (Orgeat is an almond syrup. Usually found with coffee syrups) ¼ oz rock candy syrup  (I've been substituting Agave Syrup, and it works great) 1 oz aged Jamaican rum (I would highly suggest Appleton Estate) 1 oz aged Martinique rum (Myers Dark rum is perfect) Shake well with plenty of crushed ice. Pour unstrained into a double old-fashioned glass. Sink your spent lime shell into drink. Garnish with a mint sprig. Original drink by Trader Vic, 1944. Adapted from Jeff Berry & Annene Kaye, Beachbum Berry’s Grog Log. (San Jose: SLG Publishing, 1998) p. 50

OK class, get shaking!

Aloha & Mahalo!

Scenes From My Life

I am on day four of my staycation and weird things are happening. I think I’m relaxing. Seriously. I know it’s hard to believe but I’m starting to feel the way I feel after taking a Valium to visit the dentist, you know, all loose and totally okay with someone sticking foreign objects in my mouth. Huh.

Maybe that’s not a good comparison. Let’s just say I’m feeling good. I'm "chillaxed". Like this dog:

I’m also accomplishing my daily To Do List of read, write, and work out. I usually throw five or six other things on the list, because, well, that’s what I do.

I mixed a new audiobook demo in hopes I can branch out and get some more work. I’d love to install a home recording studio. Here’s the demo if you’re curious. Oh. Wait. I can't upload it. Damnation! Anyway, it has excerpts from “Exclusive” by Sandra Brown, “Blunder Woman” by some freak, and “Ice Cold” by Tess Gerritsen. I wish I could’ve put her new one on here that I just recorded because I LOVE it. Ah well. *Kealoha rocks! Here's the demo.

I’ve also developed some kind of alien cold. When I breathe, I make this whistling wheezy sound and I’ve started coughing like an old smoker; you know, that kind of cough when you hear someone do it you think, my god, they’re going to cough up a baby. It’s super sexy. Kealoha can’t keep his hands off me, especially when I’m all hooo-waaahh. Yummy.

I took my mom out to lunch to smooth some things over with her. Found a home for one of the cats, and might have a home for our three-legged one…that leaves one more home to find for sweet Mercedes. She’s a cat that likes to sit on your shoulder and stick her butt in your face. Want her? She’s awesome.

And I sent out 5 agent queries on the 4^th of July. One of them wrote me back that day and said: “First I have to congratulate you on one of the best queries I’ve read in some time. I’d love to read your novel.” Now, if I can just get her as excited about the novel as she was about the query.

Today it’s Movie Day with a girlfriend, tomorrow it’s Polish Sausage Night with Kealoha’s parents. The excitement just keeps ticking.

Oh. And I bought my wedding dress. I couldn’t decide which to get so I bought two. I’ll wear the one that makes me feel pretty and thin and the other one I’ll just pull a Miss Havisham (as suggested by writer Jennifer Armintrout). Yeah. I’ll put the wedding dress on and go grocery shopping, or to the dentist, or to the allergist’s, and pretend that it’s TOTALLY NORMAL.

Then I’ll hock up a loogie. Just for that final touch.

Loogie. Ew.

That was probably too much information. I should probably go sit in a moist, hot room or something for a while. See if I can birth me an alien baby.

In love and light, Tanya

Review of "We Need To Talk About Kevin" by Lionel Shriver

For the summer, I've committed myself to my own plan to "Slow Down And Read" and I have a list of ten books I'm working on. They're a combination of romance, literary, mystery, historical, and just plain entertaining. This morning, I finished reading "We Need To Talk About Kevin" by Lionel Shriver. Here is my review (as posted on GoodReads)

We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is a brilliant novel. I don't say that lightly. I mean it. It's brilliant. And I think Lionel Shriver is a genius. Her work is like reading a mixture of Virginia Woolf, Sylvia Plath, and Dorothy Parker. She is relentless, fierce, and writes about the underbelly of the psyche. She is also lyrical. "We Need To Talk About Kevin" is not an easy read. The subject matter is daunting (a woman reflects on the signs in her son's life that would lead him to committing a massacre at her school); the voice is ruthless (with lines like when my son was born "I felt nothing"); and still, the piece is utterly compelling.

It leads one to look at the root of evil. Is evil incarnate or is it created? Is a sociopath born or made? Should a child (essentially) be held accountable for his own monstrosity?

It also echoes fears every mother possesses from gestation to the adulthood of a child: What if I give birth to someone who is damaged? Is it my fault? How much of a child's behavior is because of the mother?

The novel plays on fears, but it also explores our own humanity.

A few years ago, I was booked to narrate Shriver's "A Post Birthday World". It was, like this novel, challenging but in the end, thoroughly rewarding both intellectually and emotionally. I haven't been booked to narrate another of her books (though I so wish I would be), so instead I'm vowing to read everything she's ever written. She is not a writer that makes you feel good. No. She challenges you. She gets in your face and makes you uncomfortable. She demands that you analyze your own life and your own choices. For this reason, I can't seem to put her work down. I'm completely, reluctantly, enthralled.

View all my reviews

Let The Q&A Begin! 1st Up: A question of moola

I had so many great questions submitted for my newsletter that I wanted to take some time and talk about it on my blog. I know, I know. Newsletter, blog, Twitter, Facebook…there’s so much ME going around that maybe it’s a bit much. Just trying to play the promotion game. A girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do to keep the promo machine going. And, you know, I actually like it. At any rate…if you missed the newsletter, click on this to read it.

I couldn’t fit all the questions in because, well, some of your questions were really long. Some didn’t even require and answer. And some questions are better answered not by myself, but from someone else…like…say….a character from one of my books. So bring on the questions and answers, real and imagined.

QUESTION ONE

Bob Caustic writes: “Talking about money is so crass. When you narrate an audio book do you get paid a flat fee, royalties or both?”

TANYA: Well, I’m like a C or D class narrator. I’m not being hard on myself, it’s just an A Class would be like Jim Dale or a celebrity. B class are professional narrators who work for the big publishing companies. Then there are those who get Audie awards and acclimations…then there’s uhm…me. I’m over here. Sitting on a log. I have mayonnaise on my chin. It’s awkward.

But I do love narrating, even if I’m not a big fish. That said, I get paid per CD I record, so it’s a flat rate. No royalties at all for me. It’s probably different for those high class type narrators, but so far, I don’t know what that’s like. I think they also probably have someone make them coffee. Me, I have to bring my own mug.

What You Might Not Know About Narrators And Audiobooks

This morning I went to Audible.com to refill my iPod so I could listen to another audiobook. I’ve always loved audiobooks, even before I started narrating. I love being told a story. My favorites are mysteries…because I think the heavy plot and action lends itself well to a good listen.

I made a little mistake though….I clicked on some of my own books to see what people thought. I’m constantly trying to get better as a narrator, and I’ve certainly improved over the years. In the beginning, I tried to sound like a man with the male characters, but eventually dropped that for more subtle reads. When I listen to an audiobook, for me, I don’t expect the narrator to sound like the opposite sex. For me, it’s about characterization. How does a character speak? Are they fast, slow, do they upspeak, are they breathy, are they kind? And if you listen to people, really listen to them, there’s a whole range of voices. Women don’t always speak high. Men don’t always speak low. Anyway, for one reviewer in particular, this was the worst choice ever.

Most of the books I’ve narrated are rated around 4 out of 5 stars. It’s hard to know what they’re rating. Are they rating strictly the storyline or the narrator’s performance, and how do you separate the two?

Anyway. This one reviewer listened to a series I recorded and book after book said I was horrible, paused in weird places, and my male characters were too feminine sounding. She was venomous in her review. And, you know, it did hurt my feelings a bit. I also felt terrible for the writer. Had I failed her? Did she wish I hadn’t narrated her book? It also made me question my choices as a narrator. I’ve certainly made some missteps…but am I the worst narrator out there? I’m not the best, I know that. I know that my voice is well-suited for fiction with strong women characters. I do well with romances and mysteries.

I’m not going to defend myself. I’ll just keep trying to improve. But the comments did hit a sore spot. All of this got me thinking about the industry, and some of the reviews criticized things that are beyond a narrator’s control. So…here are some things you might not know about narrating. This is my experience, and might not be true for everyone, but here it is.

1) Narrators are not allowed to contact the author. I wish this weren’t so. I’d love to talk to the author and ask them what they want. I’d even try some voices for them for characterization, but I’m strictly forbidden to contact them. The most I can do is send them a tweet or reply on their website…and even that could get me in trouble. Directors can sometimes talk to the author, but rarely.

2) Some reviewers hate women who try to sound like men. Others hate it when women don’t sound enough like men. What’s a narrator to do?

3) Narrating is incredibly difficult. I have people coming up to me all the time saying “I should be a narrator. I read to my kids all the time.” I smile. I nod. Maybe they would be great…but…you have to read, interpret, perform, do characterizations, accents, differentiate between sexes, sometimes read foreign phrases, and read every single word as written all while making as few mistakes as possible. It all comes down to time and money. Read this paragraph aloud. Cold. Try to not take breaths between commas or periods. Try not to make a single mistake.

4) I get usually three days to record a book. There isn’t time to practice and finesse. You read and hope it’s good. If you make too many mistakes and they have to add a day to record, you probably won’t be hired again.

5) I prep all the books I record, but sometimes I’m only given a script a few days in advance. Most of the times, this is because of issues from the publisher. Everyone’s got a deadline and when one person is late, it affects everyone in line.

6) The director decides if a word is pronounced correctly. I’ve had many discussions and debates over words and names with directors. You’d be surprised how different a word sounds with a different accent on just a syllable. I have to defer to the director. Sometimes they want me to say foreign phrases with the right accent. I feel ridiculous doing it, but they want it right. Authentic. I’ve been slammed for narrating a book in an accent. I didn’t want to do it. The director insisted I do it. I did it. The fans of the book and the author hated that it was read in an accent. The blame fell on me. I was never hired for that author again, and lost three years of work because of it.

7) People rarely review products they love. They might give it stars, but they don’t write a review. If people hate a book, they’ll send venomous reviews. Reviews matter. Bad reviews matter more. I guess this is good because as a listener you have a lot of power. But a series of bad reviews can get a narrator fired. For real.

8 ) I put my heart and soul into every recording I do whether I personally love the book or not. I love the sound of words aloud. I love getting lost in characters. I love telling stories. It’s why I’m also a writer.

I guess this has turned into a little bit of a defense on my behalf. Maybe it’s because it plays on that whole “I’m not good enough” thing I have sometimes. So, I am taking these reviews to heart…but just in the sense that I’m trying to get better. The more reviews I read, the more it seems like the pendulum is swinging back to people preferring big differences between male and female characters. I’ll try it. We’ll see what happens.

If you’ve actually read this really long blog (sorry about that) I hope, if anything, it makes you think a little more about the business of producing an audiobook and what goes into it. By all means, post reviews and be critical. There’s a difference though between critical and hurtful.

I’m going to go post some positive, supportive reviews of books I’ve read and listened too. Got to cleanse the palate.

How To Get Into Voice Work

I’ve had a lot of questions lately from friends and even people I don’t know asking about voice-overs. I think I’ve written about this before, but figure it’s worth revisiting. I’ve been doing voice work for fifteen years. (I started in college to make extra money.) I’d always wanted to record things, and I had a college boyfriend who was recording commercials. He took me to Sound Post Studios in Grand Rapids. I wrote and recorded a demo…showing off different kinds of reads. At the time, my voice was pretty green. Basically, I could play a young kid, a depressed teenager, and a college student. After I recorded the demo, I was lucky to get hired.

The first commercial I ever recorded was for a restaurant. I think Finley’s. I totally bombed on the take. I couldn’t do it. I was sweating, nervous, and so bad that the art director said he was very sorry but couldn’t use me. I went home crying. After I got it together, I called the studio and begged for a second chance. I drove back, recorded the commercial, and they used it. And the client kept calling me back.

Fifteen years later, I’m still recording and have moved on to audio books. My voice is different now. Some of it is age, and some of it is developing my lower register. My speaking voice is naturally high, sort of Soprano-like (as in singing, not as in mobster). My recording voice dips into the alto range. I’ve practiced all kinds of reads. Sounding sexy, sounding smart, sounding bored, intelligent, excited, young, old, married with kids, single and looking. And I’ve had to develop accents and try to sound like a man, or at least suggest a man when reading a novel. You’d be surprised what you can suggest with just the tone of voice. And now I do character work with audio books.

But how do you bust into the business? How do you get into audio-books?

I’ll be honest. It’s not easy, especially now. When I started, the Internet was just taking off. Now everything is digital and you can have voices from all over the nation competing for a local coffee commercial.

If you want to get started, you’ll need to do a few things:

1) Practice reading out loud.

Seriously. You’ll need to be good at dry reads. That means you don’t get rehearsals with commercials. You get the copy and you perform. So start by practicing. Read aloud. Anything. Everything. From magazines to books. Try to give the words emotion and feeling. And try not to stumble.

2) Record a demo.

You won’t get work without one. Yes. You can record one on your own, but you’ll get a better product if you record one in a studio. Your demo should highlight your voice. Start with commercial voices, then move on to industrial narration. You can also do a demo of character voices, but these don’t get as much work as a commercial demo. Each demo should be about 1-2 minutes long, with voice samples in 10 second clips.

01 Tanya Eby Narration Voice Demo

3) If you want to do audio books, you’ll need a demo of that.

Pick several different types of books to read: mystery, romance, classic, young adult. Read it well and with emotion. Choose a scene that is mostly dialogue between a man and a woman. Whatever you do, do not read “Harry Potter”! You’ll be instantly compared to Jim Dale and there’s no way you can compete. Seriously. I can’t compete either. Jim Dale’s narration is brilliant.

1 Minute Audio Book Demo

4) Send your demo to local recording studios.

You can also post online at Voice 123 or other audio places. Research audio book distributers and find out how to contact them.

01 Tanya Eby Character Voice Demoe V01

5) Make a wish, but don’t hold your breath.

People think that voice over work is easy. It isn’t. It is fun, but there’s a lot of work behind the scenes. You need to be really bright and in tune with written copy. You need confidence and acting ability. You need to be able to read aloud while your eye skims a little ahead looking for hints to inflection. You need to get good at reading without stumbling.

It’s also physically exhausting. When I read an audio book, I narrate from 8:30 until about 4:30. I have to be perfectly still. Keep your body still for almost eight hours. Control your breathing, your stomach gurgles. Do it for three days or five for a longer book. It’s tough. Your body will hurt.

There’s no magic code for busting into the industry. It takes talent and a good helping of luck. But like any entertainment industry, you can’t bust in without a sample of your work. So start there.

And good luck! Really! If you can get hired, you’ll find the work is fun, creative, and quirky.

Let me know if you have questions. I’ll try to answer them for you here.

A Day In The Life--Me as Narrator

I recently had a suggestion from S. Esperanza to blog about what it’s like being a narrator. Funny, I’ve never really written about it…mostly because I thought it would be boring. Then I stopped to think, well, just because I do it and am used to it, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily boring. If you were watching me narrate it would be. I’m not supposed to move because every movement projects a sound, so basically you’d just be looking at me sitting perfectly still while my face contracts and pinches. Not pretty. Still, though, maybe it is interesting.

A day in the life, then.

A standard book takes about three days to narrate. Think of the books you see in gas stations or grocery stores, you know, the New York Times bestsellers. All about three days. Longer ones, especially fantasies, can take much longer. As a narrator, the actual reading aloud of the story is really a unique experience. It feels really intimate to me. Not in a naughty way, but in a deeply personal one. When you read out loud, you somehow crawl inside a story, you inhabit it. You try to become the characters and the narrator, and for a while, the whole world slips off your shoulders and you’re just transported. Books that I wouldn’t necessarily choose to read on my own, have been delightful surprises. I’ve been inside romances and adventures, terrifying chases, car crashes, breakups, and I’ve fallen in love over and over and over again. And everytime it’s something new. I’m getting off track though.

SAMPLES OF MY NARRATION

So the day starts like this: Coffee and food. Coffee for energy and food, lots of it, so that my stomach doesn’t start growling at 10:30am. I’ll wake up at 5:30AM, write, coffee up, and then in the car by 7. Sometimes I stop and get a big breakfast sandwich, or I’ll eat something at home. And I have to pack a snack. Yogurt and berries. A pb&j sandwich. I love crunchy vegetables and vegetarian food, but when I’m narrating, I can’t eat those things. My stomach works to hard. It’s embarrassing how many sounds your body makes while you narrate. You swallow so much air while reading you start to burp like Homer Simpson. So, I stick to sandwiches. Or, sammiches, as I call them. It’s a good thing I’m a fan.

In the studio at 8:15. There’s four studios to choose from A, B, C, and D. A is freezing, B is hot. C is pretty okay but there’s a ghost there. D is cold and hot and there’s ambient noises from the shipping area RIGHT NEXT DOOR. You get a director and an engineer. They air lock you in the room, you have a stack of pages in front of you and you read. You try to avoid falling into a pattern with your voice or the narration will be monotonous. They give me a special S filter because I happen to be a little sibilant. I don’t use my talking voice. It’s too high and whiny. I slip into my lower register. It’s comfortable there…like slipping on silky pajamas.

I used to highlight all the different characters in different colors and assign descriptions to them: High & Whiny, Pinched Nose, Side Talker, Sexy, With Gravel. Just little clues to help me figure out which voice to read. You don’t want every man to be deep, or that’s boring. And if you listen to people, you realize there’s a whole range of voices besides high and deep. There’s breathy, and tentative, fast talkers, and enunciators. There are speakers who sound angry, and speakers who have voices warm and round as honey flowing. Now I don’t highlight. I’ve gotten enough practice that when I read aloud something, my eye skips ahead for any descriptions or what’s coming up next. It’s weird and hard to explain.

We break for lunch at 12:30. Sometimes I hang out with the engineers and other narrators where we talk about books and issues with words (is ‘angst’ really pronounced ‘ahhhngst”) or we talk sci-fi or movies. Many of the conversations start with “Did you hear about…” and it’s a superhero character or a weird fact or something about food. They always make me laugh.

Or if I’m stressed or tired from talking (it happens) I head over to Panera bread where it’s soup and sandwich and internet access. At 1:30 it’s back to the studio, and I narrate until about 4:30 when my energy bar is so zapped I can’t read a sentence without screwing up. I can read 4 or 5 pages without a mistake if I’m on a roll. That’s like 7 minutes. Dick Hill and Sandra Burr, narrators extraordinaire, have been known to read over twenty minutes without a mistake. Not sure how long Joyce Bean or Laural Merlington can go, but I’m sure they’re in the twenty minute range too.

Hmmm. Taken out of context, you might be confused about what I’m talking about there.

Then I pack up and head home. An hour drive. I listen to NPR so other people can talk.

I listen to audiobooks because I love them and I’m trying to get better. The first two books I narrated a decade ago were such colossal bombs that they almost destroyed my career. In fact, after reading Seven Up by Janet Evanovitch, there was so much hate mail against me they actually pulled the narration. I didn’t work again for 6 years. But I have gotten better. If anything, that’s a story of how you can come back from the brink of disaster. They gave me another shot with the Meg Gardiner series following cool chick Evan Delany. Fast paced action, murder mysteries. Loved that series. Then I was given a book called “The Post Birthday World” by Lionel Schriver with a story so beautiful I actually cried in the studio. You can hear it on the recording. Deen Koontz chose my voice once, as did Philip Roth. And now my favorites are the Susan Mallery series and I highly enjoyed the Nora Roberts book. Plus books by Alex Kava and Tess Gerritsen. I do worry that the authors won't like my voice. Sometimes I wish I could talk to them directly so I'd know what they want, but we're not allowed. Seems funny to me, but I guess I get it. Every once in a while I hear from an author, but it's rare. I do try to make them proud.

I don’t know if this is interesting to anyone or not…but sometimes I look around in the studio and I think “I actually get to do this? Who gets to do something so cool?” And, of course, how did I get so lucky. I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that every book I read, I fall in love a little bit more…with language, and stories, and just the creative spirit.

I’m a lucky girl. And it’s time for me to eat a sammich.

Podcast Easy Does It CH 20

Easy Does It CH 20

Rex Alter Episode #1 pt 3 of 3

The finale of the episode....More adventures to follow....  

Rex Alter Episode #1 pt 3 of 3

Listen to Easy Does It Chapter 03

Chapter 03. Click here. Coming soon....Podcasts. EDI Chapter 03

Also, check out a live performance of two old-fashioned radio plays (funny parodies) at Dog Story Theater in Grand Rapids, 8PM, Monday August 10th. I'll be there. Wearing a housecoat. And I'm sure you'll want to pay five bucks to see that.