Well, my staycation is over. That’s right. It’s done and done. It was really good while it lasted, but I was ready for it to be over. I’m really not the type of person that can relax. I mean, I was on a week-long vacation and I still had to start my day with a To Do List. In my head, I was going to accomplish a lot. I was going to read five novels, find an agent at last, lose ten pounds, and totally change my eating habits, and finally put my telekinetic powers to work. I’m certain I have telekinesis because wherever I go, things fall over.
So. Yeah. Those were my goals.
What did I actually accomplish? Here’s my list:
43 Things I Did On My Vacation
I read two hundred more pages of that fucking “Sarum: The Never-ending Novel of Fucking England”. I may be paraphrasing that title a little. The blasted thing is nearly 1,000 pages of really small print. It’s like “War and Peace” only I can’t cross it off Harold Bloom’s list of the Western Canon that I should be reading because this is just a regular old book. Muther humper. It’s killing me…but at 357 pages in, I CAN’T STOP.
I prepped an audiobook.
I walked fifteen miles (total). I walked while shimmying for .025 miles. Don't ask.
I lost three pounds and gained two. So, yeah, 1 pound.
I didn’t get an agent, but I did eat a burrito. Not sure how those are connected.
And this morning a lamp fell over while I was downstairs. I wasn’t even around it. That’s how strong my brain-power is. Feel it? It’s giving you a massage on your back. I’m not very good at it. If you feel slightly uncomfortable and like you’re developing a slight rash, don’t worry. It’s just me.
I played Scrabble with friends and found out they both read my blog but never comment on it. Weird.
EIGHT, NINE, TEN, ETC.
I took forty-two naps.
I did other stuff too, but it’s all random. I did relax. I really did. And at the end while I told Kealoha to pass the chips and dip and rub my feet, I realized…yeah. I need to go back to work. And I needed my kiddos.
-End of List-
They kiddos are back now. Sleeping upstairs after throwing colossal tantrums. Kealoha is downstairs working on wedding stuff. I just had a nice walk with my sister. This isn’t big important stuff like I’d thought I’d ‘achieve’ on my staycation…still, today I feel like I accomplished a lot. Tomorrow…it’s back at it. I’ll be narrating all day long, and touching people in my mind.
I’ll try not to be creepy about it.