How To Freak Out Your Kids And Make Them Happy AT THE SAME TIME

Yesterday, I picked up the kids (Franz and Moxie) and their stepsister (Lilly) at school and drove them home. I blame my sudden inspiration on Stephen King and "Christine". I've been reading a lot of his work lately, and it's got me all twisted.

Here is what happened during that drive.

ME: Weird.

FRANZ: What?

ME: I was supposed to turn there but I didn’t.

MOXIE: Why didn’t you?

ME: I don’t know. I feel like the car doesn’t want to go home. It wants…

MOXIE: What’s it want, Ma?

ME: It wants me to go foreward. It’s like there’s a giant magnet and I’m being pulled.

LILLY: Whoa.

ME: I know. Oh! Wait. It wants…

FRANZ: Mom…come on. I don’t like this.

ME: It wants me to go down this street.

MOXIE: This isn’t the way home!

ME: Nope. It’s okay though. Don’t freak out. I feel like this is okay. Like I’m putting on my blinker now because I feel like I should turn here.

FRANZ: Ma, I’m freaking out here.

ME: Nope. Don’t freak. I feel like…yes. Yes! The car wants to park!

LILLY: Whoa.

ME: Okay then. We’ll park. And then…I feel like…

FRANZ: What, Ma? What’s HAPPENING?

ME: I feel like we should park here and then walk across the street and get ice cream at Jersey Junction.

(Pause. Pause.)

LILLY: Oh, I get it! You were messing with us! The car didn’t want anything.

MOXIE: Mommy! Come on!

FRANZ: You totally freaked me out.

ME: I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I just…you got to admit…that was kinda cool.

FRANZ: Kinda.

ME: And now you get ice cream.

FRANZ: Fine okay. Just don’t do that again.

MOXIE: Like EVER. Don’t ever do that again, Mommy.

ME: Okay. Fine. Sheesh.