The Holiday Update I Didn't Send

I sent out Christmas cards with happy holiday photos of our year in review, but I was so busy obsessing about the weather and driving on the ice-covered roads, that I never got around to our holiday update letter. Here it is then, from my family to you: Kealoha

Kealoha got a new job. He now wears khakis and dress shirts five days a week and scares all of us. “Put on your REAL clothes,” Moxies cries. Kealoha awkwardly laughs. It’s a great job and he loves it. There are no mushrooms growing in the elevator and when it rains, he no longer has to empty kiddy pools filled with water. Plus, they give him free burritos and subs. A LOT.


Tanya was nominated for an Audie and went to New York with Kealoha. She got drunk on gin & tonics, didn’t win, but had lots of wonderful awkward networking conversations. It was her first year as a full-time narrator and she recorded a lot of books. Many of the books required her to breathe heavily and with sultry excitement. She also took a few yoga classes so now she can wear her yoga pants and say “I’m going to do yoga” and not sound sarcastic.


Franz put together so many Lego sets that they really should give him stock in the company. He’s also reading like a mofo. His sense of humor is so advanced that Tanya is awe of him. Franz tells her “Ma. Stop it.”


Moxie believes in fairies and has lots of friends at school. She likes animals and popcorn and she laughs if you touch her belly. She is very annoyed with us touching her belly and says “Go find yourself the Pillsbury Doughboy if you want cheap entertainment”.

We got a new roof, had a flood in the basement, ate too much food, went to Disney World, and published audio versions of Tanya’s books. Audiofile magazine even reviewed "Foodies Rush In".  Tanya had a hangnail and cried about it for a while. Kealoha wore Hawaiian shirts. The kids grew so much we had to buy them new clothes.

Tanya had a tooth pulled and felt nauseous and thought she had a weird growth but it turned out to be a pimple. AND THEN….

I’m just kidding on that last part. I thought it would be fun if I detailed every little thing that happened, but I’ll spare you all the info.

That’s our year in review. We laughed a lot. We were annoyed much of the time. We didn’t understand highway drivers or why people are such dinks in grocery stores. We worked hard. We snuggled with our families. We embarrassed ourselves. We had fights. We made up. We grew another year older and another year wiser and realized that life is a mash-up of the beautiful and awful, the awkward and tender, the dark and the light.

Happy holidays to you.

Cheers and spontaneous high-five,


PS I also published a new novella. YESTERDAY. I mean I published it yesterday, but it’s called “Synchronicity”. You can get it here, or if you can’t afford the .99 download or just don’t want to, send me an email and I’ll send you the download for free.