Top Ten* Fun Things I Can Do With This Cast
1) Fearlessly stomp on spiders should they be stupid enough to approach me.
2) Imitate Frankenstein more convincingly.
3) String leg with lights, stand in front of window and wait for neighborhood to admire my shapeliness.
4) Practice being in zen-like position called “Flamingo” .
5) After drinking a gin and tonic or two, extend leg into air and convince people to “Limbo!!!”
6) Cover cast in hair-like fabric, wear a skirt and go to bar and try to pick up guys. I’ll tell them I’m from Canada.
7) Use cast to set drinks, glasses and books on if I can’t reach an end table.
8) Paint face on toes, hide behind couch, lift leg and entertain kiddos with cheap improvised puppet show.
9) Cover leg with enormous stocking and then let Santa fill stocking with PRESENTS!
10) Invite friends and family to my house for holiday festivities and make sure they don’t confuse my leg with the piñata.
*If I had a boyfriend, I might be able to think of a couple of other fun things to do.