I'm trying to start a new project, but my heart still belongs to the old one: "Blunder Woman". Writing is a bit like dating...you have the courtship period, then the frustrating and exhilirating long relationship where you figure everything out..but the trouble is, all the projects (and I'm discovering, again, this is like relationships) come to an end. Then you have the break up and the crying and the sudden weight gain due to too many cocktails, cookies, cake and just saying aw-fuck-it and eating the cheetos too.
Okay. That last part might just be my issue.
My point is, with writing, you have the initial excitement, the relationship, and then the breakup. The real trouble comes when you try to start something new.
I'm working on a new piece and one of the main character's names is Pepper Wellington. Trouble is, when I sit down, I'm still thinking about Chloe Knaggs, my dear alter-ego, my Blunder Woman. The greater trouble is, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't manage something awkward and embarrssing and it helps to write about them. So like the old relationship, I'm looking backward at the previous book with longing, even though it's over. I should be focusing on Pepper Wellington. Maybe there's something there. Maybe if I just give it a little time, a little focus, a little commitment, it will all work out!
Now I don't even know if I'm talking about relationships or writing.
Here's what I do know: I got yet another rejection for "Blunder Woman" today. "Easy Does It" is available to purchase and selling like hot cakes, which means not at all, because no one (not even grandmothers) orders hot cakes any more. I have a staged reading on Monday that I pray people are coming to and will enjoy. I have a new book I should be working on but can't seem to get connected with. And on top of all of it, I'm just plain depressed.
What do I do with this besides see a therapist? Write another line of Pepper Wellington. Hope she takes me somewhere. Hope that in my real life, I can relax a bit and enjoy all the embarrassing mess ups because I seem to have a talent for it. And maybe, just tonight, because it's the 4th and all, I'll have one more cookie. It's not like I'm going to explode or anything. Nope. Explosions will be in the sky from fireworks. (I'm reminding myself of this so when they go off I don't have a heart attack.)
Happy 4th all.