You Too Can Do The Handshake Of The Gods


While I’ve been posting deep, philosophical blogs in which I tout my political beliefs, I thought I should also tout: How We Should Greet Each Other. I think it’s time we threw out the following: awkward hugs with light little pats on the back; deep hugs where you can’t breathe and wonder if the other person will ever let you go; that man-hug where you start with a shake, pull in , and then slap each other’s shoulders; kissing each other’s cheeks (hello! intimate!); and/or awkwardly just acknowledge each other and then pretend you don’t feel pressure to hug the person even though you do feel pressure.

Kealoha and I have been watching Spartacus. Yep. The one on Starz. It’s actually really good. If you liked 300, you’ll like the show. If you like seeing half-naked men wrestling, you’ll like the show.  If you like boobies, you’ll like the show. If you like gladiators and faces getting chopped off, you’ll love the show, and you should probably talk to someone about your issues.


Anyway. Whenever I watch the show I think two things:

1) Man! There’s so much testosterone in Spartacus that I can feel it coursing through my own body and now I want to eat a giant turkey leg and just RIP INTO that bastard.


2) Why don’t we do that forearm shake? It’s so cool and tough AND you don’t have to touch too much of the other person.

Consider this video on Youtube. I am particularly grateful for the music in it.


So the forearm shake is the Handshake of the Gods, and so manly that you might sprout a hair or two. I know I did.


Instead of going for touching palms, you wrap your hand around the other person’s forearm, clasp it for a second, maybe grunt, and then you’re done. You’ve said hello, asserted your bad-ass-ness, and you’ve moved on.


Actually, now that I think about it, I wish I could just point at people when I greet them and not touch them at all. Not that I’m afraid of germs or anything; I just don’t like rubbing against someone. When I rub against someone, wine is usually involved.


That’s my deep thought for the day. And now my brain hurts.

I leave you with The Forearm Handshake quickly captured in the wild:

May the Gods be with you.