Recently I had a conversation with one of my narrator friends and I was lamenting how scary it is being a freelancer. What if the work suddenly dries up? What if the universe collectively decides my voice is annoying? What if every casting person just decides I’m a fraud and they don’t want me for anything, ever, anymore. She had a great response to this. “Well, worst thing that happens, you say screw it and find another job.”
It was a profound moment, this idea of “Screw it. Do something else.”
“Screw it” was a concept I liked, but the word wasn’t strong enough. The other option, “F**k it” was a little too angry, but this concept of “Fug It” really works for me. “Fug it” is more laid-back. It’s driving with the windows down and nowhere to go and saying I guess I’ll turn…THIS way…and turning.
And here’s the crazy thing...all year, I’ve had this attitude of “Fug it!” and I didn’t even realize it. And good things have been happening because of it. Really good things.
It’s been empowering.
I was tired of not having any control with books and wanting to get some of my most loved books into audio and I thought “Fug it. I’m going to become a publisher and do it myself.” So that’s what I’m doing. Maybe I’ll lose my shirt, maybe I’ll be successful, but Fug it! I’ll have produced some stuff that I’m really proud of.
I thought “Fug it” when talking to my kid’s therapist. I was done trying to be apologetic or kind or soft or whatever. I decided I was going to tell it like it is. And this time she listened to me. For the first time, someone in health care actually heard me and my kid is getting better.
I thought, “Fug it. I’m going to create a funny little video to share,” and I did that. (Stay tuned) I thought “Fug it, I’m going to ask this big writer to work on my romcoms with me. What can she do? She can say no and I can say Fug It again and try something else.” And now we’re working on those romcoms.
This whole thing has given me confidence. I don’t need to ask permission anymore. I’m not sure why I ever did in the first place.
“Boy, I wish there was a website where a bunch of us narrators could post our stuff instead of waiting for casting to do it.” So fug it. I helped create one:
“Shit. What if I’m never hired as a narrator again? Fug it! I’ll do something else. In fact, I can start doing other things right now.”
“I wish I could reach out to this person and tell them that they’ve inspired me. Fug it! Just reach out.”
“I’m terrified of going to the doctor’s and getting bad news. Fug it. Go to the doctors, I’ll get whatever news I get and deal with it.”
(No health scares here. Just giving examples.)
I think there are people who are naturally lucky, or maybe so super-talented that they glow. I’m not lucky like that, and I don’t really glow, I just look sweaty. The good things that have happened are usually because of hard work. It’s not even ‘hard’ work, really, it’s stuff I like to do.
So, fug it! I’m doing it.
And you can too.