This week I’m answering ridiculous and/or serious questions about life, dating and cheese sandwiches. In essence, anything you want to ask, I’ll answer. I may even offer advice. What gives me the right to do this? My gigantic pair of cajones. A warning, please don’t actually take any of the advice I may give. I’m a 36-year-old divorced single mom struggling to make it as a writer. I have issues.
Our first question comes from RPFangirl_ on Twitter. She asks:
Do you have different capes for each day of the week or moods?
Blunder Woman’s Response:
Hey, RPFangirl, thanks for your insightful question. Here’s the thing. I would love to wear a different cape for every mood I have because I have a lot of them. Moods that is. But, sadly, according to The National Handbook and Rule Book for Ordinary Superheroes (or the NHRBOS) “An Ordinary Superhero is allowed only one costume. 1) Because they’re probably poor and 2) Because it’s their brand and people must be able to recognize their superhero by clothing alone”. I understand because Super Man in a shiny green leotard with fringe would really be a freak of nature. Or starring in some interpretive dance.
I have a red cape and a red mask. That’s my costume. Here’s how I accentuate…sometimes under the cape I wear a nice black dress and heels. Sometimes a t-shirt, running shorts, knee socks and my favorite brown 1970’d style tennis shoes. Sometimes, ahem, nothing at all. Today, it’s a black t-shirt, jeans and boots. I’m trying to say “Rockstar”, though I probably shouldn’t use jazz hands when I say that.
I don’t really need to change my cape except for washing it. I think anyone paying attention to my face can get my mood just by my facial expression, with the exception of my ex. He couldn’t read me at all and didn’t know that when I said “Everything is fine” I was really saying “I’m entirely miserable and we need to fix this ASAP”. Uh…where was I?
Oh yeah. My cape.