I just had multiple epiphanies

I’m done whining. At least for a little while. I do apologize for my last post where I was all “Woe is me!” I’m over it. I’m glad I didn’t chuck the whole idea of writing and self-promotion and marketing, because then what would I do? Chalk drawings probably.

After my prolonged tantrum, I had a series of epiphanies. The epiphanies felt so good I think my toes curled. Mmmm. Epiphanies. Anyway, these realizations inspired some decisions. Most of them begin with pseudo-swearing, because honestly, I sound kind of ridiculous when I really swear.


1. Blast! I’m going to stop complaining and get back to what I do best: write. Or is it writing. Whatev.


2. Tarnation! I realized that ebooks sell great…if you write erotica or paranormal stuff. Quiet novels with saucy language, well, they don’t sell as well. I considered writing “Three Men and a Little Semen” but then quickly reconsidered. So….


3. Muther humper! I’m going to send out “Foodies Rush In” to the other editor who requested it. If she doesn’t want it, I’m publishing the book myself so that I can move on to the next thing I want to write.


4. Holy smokey! The next thing I want to write is to finish “Tunnel Vision” and return to a novel I abandoned ten years ago called “Fortunes Told Above Rusty’s Grille”. Both of these stories are literary fiction, but with my quirky stamp on it. I’ve been afraid of literary fiction. But I’m taking it back.


5. Daggnabit! I had hoped to do a reading/book signing of “Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage”. I was going to have my cousin sing with her duo (she plays accordion and everything), serve drinks and appetizers, and have it be super cool. Originally, it was going to be on a Thursday…but cousin can’t come. So, I found a place that I could rent on a Saturday. May 28th. The only date I could get. Everything is pretty much booked through July for theater events and weddings. I was excited. Then my cousin reminded me that the day I booked is Memorial Weekend. So. Yeah. It’s hard enough to get people to come to a reading on a regular weekend, let alone a major holiday. Reading/signing is cancelled…BUT…


6. I’m going to do an Awkward Book Tour instead, with a little help from the Blunder Team. What’s the Blunder Team? Click here to read the post on that. Anyway. Starting in Mid-May I’m going to have flash signings. Not ‘flash’ as in I wear nothing under my cape (scary), but ‘flash’ as in instant. I’ll tweet/facebook a location, set up a hand-written sign in a restaurant and sign books while I eat a gigantic sandwich.


And finally


7. Stuart at Sound Post says I can record “Pepper” for audio book release. Even though I can’t do a reading in a cool location with wine and appetizers, you can still listen to my work while getting sloshed and eating too much in the comfort of your own home.


And that’s it. That’s my series of epiphanies followed by decisions. I’m tired now. This whole thing has worn me out.


I haven’t even written about my experience at last week’s Art Downtown/Site Lab yet. Man. Stories to tell.

Those stories will have to wait. I’ve got to crack my knuckles and get back to work.