Our Modern Family: 2 neurotics, 2 kids, 4 cats.

When you combine two lives, it’s tricky. In college, I have to say, it was a lot easier. I lived with my boyfriend and basically we decided to move in together, packed our backpacks, and we were done. When you’re in you’re late thirties and you move in together…it gets a whole lot trickier. Add to that being divorced, having kids, both owning a house, having tons of stuff, and neuroses that have been solidifying for decades…well…it’s downright absurd.

Thankfully, the transition of moving Kealoha in has gone pretty smooth. We haven’t disagreed on much. He likes to have this weird toothpaste squisher thing on the toothpaste. I guess to get every drop. I don’t understand it, but hey, it’s important to him. I’m fine with the house being disorganized and then go on random bursts of obsessive cleaning. I leave cupboard doors open. Kealoha likes the toilet paper roll to go over not under. I have no idea what that means. I have two kids. He has two cats.

It’s that last issue that has caused us a little bump in the road. You’d think it’d be combining his tiki collection with my need for sparseness, or you’d think that my having two kids would prove difficult. No. It’s the cats. See, I have two cats also. Together we have two houses, two kids, two cars, and four cats. And now we want to combine all of that into one house and have my mom move into Kealoha’s pad down the road. It’s drama just waiting to bubble.

And it’s not really that the cats are a big issue. It’s more like…well…where is the line between having a loving home with cats, and becoming a crazy cat lady? Consider the below:

See? Where is that moment of transition from normal person to crazy pet owner? God knows, Kealoha and I have hair wild enough to slip into “OH! I’m crazy!” land.

I’ve had quite a bit of anxiety over having four cats. First, was my son’s allergies and asthma. If he couldn’t handle it, then we’d have four cats we’d need to find homes for. I was already looking and Kealoha suggested maybe we should see if it was an issue first. So we brought all the cats over and waited. I anxiously checked Louis for any signs of increased allergies. He didn’t show any. Even when the cats were hissing and fighting and there were little tuffs of cat fur floating like dandelion wisps.

The next issue is more vague. I never saw myself as a woman with four cats. I’ve actively avoided having this many cats all my life…and now…blammo!

How is this possibly going to work? Can we have a life filled with kids, cats, and craziness? Really? Am I going to start wearing sequined/quilted holiday sweaters because I like them. Good God! I might!

So far we are doing okay. Kealoha reminds me to breathe a lot.

And the cats, like Kealhoa, me and the kiddos, are quite the characters. There’s big ol’ Bubba, airy Mercedes, little cat with big (metaphorical) cajones Mist, and then Peanut. She’s the three-legged cat and also supremely neurotic. She needs to suckle as if she’s either still or a kitten or she’s some kind of drug addict. You can see her just jonesing for a suckle.

More on the cats in the next blog. I’ll introduce you to the usual suspects. Until then, I have obsessive vacuuming to do.