My Million Dollar "Jesus" Idea. (Not a tortilla)

To understand this little story, you have to understand that my 5-year-old is obsessed with ‘lift the flap’ books. Basically, it’s a board book with little flaps in it, and you lift the flap to see the picture underneath. Today while she was at ballet class (in which her underwear kept falling off so I had to take them off her and put them in my purse—she was in a leotard) I picked up some books for her at the library. I tried to only get lift the flap books and found six or so. They’re harder to find than you’d think. So I didn’t care what kind of books they were, I just put them in the bag.

Then I ran errands with Louis and Simone stayed with the babysitter.

On the way to taking the sitter home, Simone said in a rather disgruntled tone “Mom, one of the books isn’t a lift the flap book.”

“Really? That’s weird. I thought they were all flap books.”

“No! It doesn’t do ANYTHING. And it’s a book about Jesus.”

I crinkled my brow. “Wait. Are you saying I got you a plain old Jesus book?”

“Yes!” Simone said, on the verge of tears.

“That must’ve been a mistake. I wouldn’t get you a Jesus book honey.” I turned to the sitter and said “Not that there’s anything wrong with Jesus. I just don’t swing that way.”

Simone continued “It’s a book about Jesus AND NO FLAPS.”

Louis said, “Ma, if it was a book about Jesus AND had flaps, would you have got it?”

Then I started laughing. “Oh! That’s brilliant! A Lift the Flap Jesus Book! He’s on the cross; he’s off the cross. He’s on the cross! He’s off the cross!” I started laughing. The kids started laughing. The babysitter was laughing. “One fish and loaf of bread….fish and bread everywhere!”

The baby sitter said “He’s in the tomb, he’s out of the tomb!”

My limited understanding of Jesus would involve a sandwich.

I laughed for a good twenty minutes. When we got home Simone showed me the book. “Oh!” I said. “That’s not a Jesus book, honey. That’s some kind of Jewish book. They’re lighting a menorah and when you pull this tab you light a candle. See the candle? And I guess you light a candle on every page or something. I don’t know. But there’s no Jesus in this book.”

Funny thing is, there actually IS a Lift The Flap Jesus Book. Too bad. I really wanted to make a million dollars. I’m trying to pay off our wedding, and eventually this house.


Oh well.