Christmas is in two weeks(ish). Two weeks(ish)! And I just can’t seem to get into it this year. Maybe it’s that there hasn’t been any snow and I haven’t actually HAD to wear my winter coat and gloves. Or maybe it’s because of the wedding in October, and we’re still partied out. Or maybe it’s because my son has been throwing so many tantrums and calling me all sorts of horrible names (we’re taking him to a counselor) that I don’t really feel like being all warm and lovey dovey during the season. Or maybe that I’m back to trying to lose the weight I gained after breaking my foot (two years ago!). Or maybe that it’s I have to do a ton of research for my Madness and Women in Literature course, and nothing says holidays like studying insane asylums and crazy chicks. I don’t know what the issue is.
I’m just crabby. And tired. I don’t want to go out and celebrate because I just end up eating everything in sight and then I feel guilty and bloated for days. Mostly, I’d like to stay inside and watch Netflix, read, get back into the groove of writing. There’s all this pressure though to be cheerful. Where’s the holiday where you get to celebrate moodiness? Isn’t there one?
Now I want to create a NEW holiday. It happens at the end of February when you just want to curl into the fetal position. (No, not Valentine's Day.) I'm going to call it CareLess Day. You know, a day where you could care less about what happens. You don't put on makeup. You don't take a shower. You don't have friends or family over. If you do venture outside, you actively try to steal someone's parking space. You eat pizza and drink red wine and YOU DON'T USE A NAPKIN. You eat ice cream right out of the container. You don't buy anything, because you hate shopping. You get to be grumpy allllll day long, and you don't even have to sing carols about it.
All right. Maybe that's a bad idea.
It’ll be okay. I am actually looking forward to my family coming over for Christmas Eve. We’ll have turducken and a gift exchange, maybe play some games, or at least do some serious holiday drinking. I’m going to try and set aside all my grouchiness that day and just let it all go and enjoy. Kealoha and I will spend Christmas day together. The kids will be at their dad’s.
I really am just being grumpy. Maybe the snow that’s currently falling will help cheer me up. It’s now officially cold enough that I can pull out my bad holiday sweater (the one that makes me look 60ish and like I have cookies baking).
I’m going to try and do some deep breathing to channel the Christmas spirit. Or maybe a Ouija board.
Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Bring on the séance, people; it’s Christmas.