Behold! I present to you a real Twitter conversation captured for your enticement. Step on up, step on up, and see for yourself why social networking can change lives. CHANGE LIVES. Or at least encourage you to put a washcloth on your face and shut it. Here is a transcript of a conversation between me, Tanya Eby ,(AKA Blunder_Woman) and Jennifer Armintrout (AKA JArmintrout). We’re both writers and a little twisted. It explains a lot. This happened last night.
My left eye is puffy. MY EYE IS PUFFY. This may not seem news worthy of a tweet, but I'm getting married on Saturday.
What if my eye swells up? It hurts. Did I get a paper cut on it? How do you get a paper cut on your EYE? I'm going to look like a pirate.
Contrary to popular thought, one-eyed pirates do not make attractive brides. Even with makeup AND photoshop
Put cold toothpaste on it. And cucumbers. And spoons. Put a cold spoon full of frozen toothpaste and cucumbers on it!
For real? I'll do it. I'm freaking out. I don't know whether to ice it or heat it. One of them is going to make it BULGE.
Let's not panic. If the cold makes it bulge, the heat should settle it down. Or make it split open and baby spiders come out.
Maybe ignore all my advice and just put a cool washcloth on it.
Ha! Okay. Okay. Good plan. :) Phew.
(1/2 hour later....)
Kealoha said maybe my eye wouldn't be so puffy if I'd stop rubbing and poking it. He's pretty smart. Now using cold washcloth and valium.
I will now spend my time before the wedding doing this and NOT poking or rubbing my eyes.