Last week I tried posting some writer type things. For those of you who write, I hope it helped, at least to know that everyone struggles, gets frustrated, and is a little neurotic. Just a postscript: when I talked about sharing your work, I didn’t mean everyone needed to try to get published. One reader is all you need. Just find one person that you trust.
I guess that’s sort of true of life, and what I’m trying to do. Trying to find one person I can trust to share all those little awkward, wonderful details with.
As for writing…well, I’ve now reached that point where I point where I broadcast intensely personal aspects of my life and blog about it. Why? Why do I do this? My aunt says that the reason therapy works is that they’ve done studies (can’t cite them though) on brain waves and brain activity and neurons are actually strengthened by talking. So by talking to each other, connecting with each other, it actually heals us, makes us stronger.
Maybe this is why I’m so obsessed with the idea of relationships. And love. And dating. And, yes, making out. When we’re with someone, really present with them, we feel more alive. Brain science proves it.
Of course, I could be making all this up, but it sounds good doesn’t it?
So…stay with me here…if connecting with someone heals us, then perhaps the opposite is true. If you’re in a relationship where there is no more communication, no more physical contact, no more being present with each other, maybe this is harmful. Maybe it really does hurt you, and not just emotionally. This is what happened to me in my marriage. I was doing a slow disappearing act. It came from being ignored and not listened to, and I think my little grey cells were shutting down.
Now, of course, I’m connecting all over the place.
Er….Maybe I should reword that.
I’m talking to friends. I’m laughing. I’m asking for help. I post my writing for everyone to read. I go on dates. Sometimes, if I’m lucky (but not that kind of lucky), I may even kiss someone. It all reminds me of how beautiful life is. And ugly. And hard. And painful. And ultimately miraculous.
Life? It’s messed up. It’s hard. And that’s why we need each other. Really, physically, need each other for help.
It’s brain chemistry, really. Or magic.
That in each other we find…well…a kind of peace. And everyone deserves that feeling.
And to be kissed.
Kissing is good too.