Worst Picture of Me EVER.

So my dear, quirky, neurotic husband took this truly horrible picture of me. It’s so horrible, I keep looking at it. Seriously. It’s on my desktop. I obsessively click on it. I ENLARGE it. I look at it and a thin sheen of sweat breaks out over my forehead and I think “Good god. Is that me? That can’t be me. Do I look like that when I’m sleeping? No! NOOOOoooOOOO!” It is me though. Here. Look at it. Just look at it, I tells ya. Do your eyes burn?

Now, granted, when this photo was taken, I’d had the kids for about a week and my daughter wasn’t feeling good. She kept waking up in the middle of the night and I’d rush to her so she wouldn’t wake up my son or Kealoha. Then I couldn’t get back to sleep for an hour or so, and then I’d finally fall asleep, and my daughter would wake up bright eyed and ready to go AT 5:30 IN THE F^&#ING MORNING! So. I was operating on about two hours of sleep for a week. And then we had Kealoha’s parents and my mom and his grandma over and I’d been narrating and apparently (from the picture) eating enormous sandwiches while PMSing. Clearly, I’m bloated in this picture.

 

Look at it. I mean, just LOOK at it. It’s the worst picture ever!!! I am both horrified and endlessly amused by it. I know the angle is bad, and that I’m exhausted. I know that when I stand up that those rolls on my neck disappear. But it’s like Kealoha took a picture of my worst fears realized and now I can’t stop looking at it.

 

Went to my doctor’s this week for my annual exam. He gently told me that I probably need to lose ten pounds. I told him I’d been trying to lose ten pounds since I broke my foot. So he’s going to have my thyroid checked to make sure things are working the way they should. Still. If this picture isn’t encouragement to up the workout (again) and down the bread (down as in ‘put it down’ not ‘swallow’) …then I don’t know what kind of encouragement I need.

 

Worst picture EVER. I’m going to look at it one more time, just to be sure.

 

(PAUSE)

 

Yep. Still awful.

 

Here’s one where I look shiny and voluptuous. I'm wearing the same hoodie in this picture. It was taken at a cooking class I went to with my friend D. Of course, it looks like I'm going to bust out of the hoodie, like I'm wearing pasties underneath or something, but that's just the glow-ey effect that cooking has on me.

 

 

There. That’s better.

 

Oh. And here’s an awful picture of my son that he took himself. We didn’t know he had done this. It just showed up when we downloaded the pictures to the computer. This makes me laugh.

 

I guess that’s the benefit of awful pictures. They can make you laugh. (I’m very tempted to post an awful picture I took of Kealoha where he looks very, very effeminate. I’ll save that one. Keep it in my pocket for blackmail.)