I’m sitting in my house and it’s quiet. Super quiet. Kealoha is at work and the kids are at their dads’. I’m not teaching or narrating right now. In my head, I had my whole week planned. Every day, I’d wake up and write for an hour, then go to the gym for an hour. I’d stick to my Weight Watchers plan. In the afternoon, I’d read and work on syllabi for my classes.
Today, I’ve cleaned the house a little, but then I watched an episode of “Breaking Bad” even though it’s depressing. Weight Watchers makes me obsess about food and feel guilty for everything I eat until I just say “oh, fuck you” and eat whatever is in reach. Today, lunch was leftover chicken wings, a cookie, and a handful from the chocolate tower. I sat at my computer and clicked on random crap instead of writing. I thought about working out, and then I took a nap.
I’m so…meh. I don’t know if it’s the weather, or if this is my default position for when I have time to myself. Instead of accomplishing all the things I never have time for, mostly I just lie around the house. Lay around the house. Whatever. Mostly I just put my body on the couch, snack and take random naps.
Luckily, the New Year is coming so that means I can start everything over in a couple of weeks. I’d tell you what my resolution is going to be, but apparently, instead of accomplishing my To Do List, I feel another nap coming on.
I do have a little Christmas wish before I curl up for a fifteen-minute cat nap. I’d like to get some of my boundless energy back, and certainly some of my writing mojo. This year I’ve taken a real pounding with that, and it would be nice to feel like my writing was actually moving me forward instead of making me feel like I’m on a treadmill. Of course, to actually have some momentum, I should probably actually write something. Which I will put at the top of my list…for tomorrow.