Diet WEEK TWO
I was a little leery of stepping on the scale this morning because, well, let’s just say it was a hard week. First, there was the wine tasting on Thursday and there was no way I was counting calories then. On Friday, I was just plain exhausted and wanted good food and I wanted it NOW. And then today, well, it’s Mother’s Day. Enough said.
I know. I know. There’s always a thousand excuses. And now I’m becoming that calorie counting annoying person. It’s annoying me. I don’t want to count calories, but I don’t know any other way to keep me aware of how much I’m actually eating. To put it simply, this week I didn’t lose any weight. In fact, I gained 1.5 pounds…which puts me…shit…right back where I started. I’m literally the same weight I was two weeks ago when I started this whole “Got to change my eating habits” game again.
I feel like crying, mostly because I really hate my body right now. Mostly, I hate my belly. It won’t go away. But I’m trying to breathe and remember that when I got dressed up for the Wine Tasting with Kealoha, I felt pretty good….so this whole self image thing I think is tied to other things. Mostly, a general feeling of never quite being good enough. Self esteem issues anyone?
Plus, I was narrating this week. ALL week. As most of you know, when I narrate, I’m in a studio (motionless) from 8:30 to 4:30. I narrate for an hour, take a bathroom break, and then keep narrating. We have an hour for lunch. So my activity level has tanked. I managed to walk about two miles a day still, and five miles this weekend, but it hasn’t helped. And I did make ‘smart’ choices while narrating. Instead of getting McDonald’s biscuit for breakfast (500 calories) and a giant sandwich and soup and cookie for lunch (1500) calories, and eating chips and pop on the way home (300 calories) and then having a huge dinner (600 calories)…I ate small meals throughout the day. Turkey slices, hummus and veggies, salads with chicken, coffee, etc. So. That was good…and also a gigantic pain in my ass because my stomach would not stop rumbling. So, maybe then, it was a pain in my stomach. I hope to god people can’t hear those tummy rumbles. Nothing like listening to an audiobook and thinking “Huh. That narrator has gas.”
Okay. So one good week; one for shit week. Some choices were in my control and some weren’t. On to week three. I’m not giving up. I’m just trying to figure out a lifestyle I can live with that makes me feel good.
This week, I’m cutting back on wheat because I think I might have an intolerance for it. And next week, I’m joining a gym again. With all the work I’m doing, I feel like I’ve earned the right to pay hefty monthly fees. It’ll be worth it if I can get my muffin top to disappear.
And dammit! Now I want a muffin!