New York DAY 1: Valium, Flight, & Curtains

I’m currently sitting in my hotel room that looks a little bit like a grandmother’s guest room. How? How can there be a room like this in New York? Isn’t New York supposed to be trendy? I blame Priceline. I wanted a deal, and I got one. I also got curtains with those pom pom things hanging from them. Next time, I’m paying the extra fifty bucks or so in hopes of having a room that is sleek and modern and doesn’t smell slightly floral.

Ah, well. Kealoha doesn’t seem to mind it. As soon as we walked into the room, he passed out on the bed. I passed out too. I woke up and we were both next to each other with our arms out and legs spread. We looked like this: XX. I think I was drooling.

The flight went pretty well this morning. I took a valium. “Can you tell I took a valium?” I asked K with a big smile on my face. “Yep, I sure can,” he said. “How can you tell? You can tell? How can you tell?” Then I realized that I kept repeating things, and I was smiling, and I was holding on to him so I didn’t fall over or smash into a wall. Oh. So that’s how he could tell.

The check in line lasted forever. We heard the final boarding call for our flight. There was no way we were going to make it. We were there 45 minutes early, it’s just the line to get body probed was unusually slow. I think security was just being very, very thorough. Possibly sadist. I called out to a security guy sitting at a tiny table. The security dude looked a little like this:

Me: Hey! Excuse me! They just called the final boarding of our flight and we’re stuck in line! Can you tell them we’re coming?

Security Dude: Sorry. I can’t do that.

Me: Why?

Security Dude: Because I can’t leave this spot.

Me: Can’t you call them? Don’t you have a phone or something?

Security Dude: Nope. Sorry.

I scrunched my face. I was thinking, what kind of security guard doesn’t have a phone and can’t leave his chair? What good is he? Luckily, seven or so people let us cut in front of them so we could make our flight. See? There is goodness.

The rest of the morning is a blur of stale air, slight turbulence, and endless circling over Manhattan. Then we had the longest taxi ride ever into the city because of construction, but a very friendly taxi driver.

On the way to the hotel, I saw a sign saying COLIN FIRTH! and I gasped. “Oh, please! I want to see Colin Firth!” Then I realized it was just because it was a movie theater. I turned to Kealoha. “I think they should just put Colin Firth on stage and have him wear a sweater and look cute. I’d totally pay for that.”

We’re at our hotel now about to go exploring, and tomorrow is the conference. We looked for the conference site today but had the wrong address. It was a dingy building smooshed between a burrito joint and a Korean market. It was so scary looking that I broke out in a rash. “That can’t be right,” I said. “It’s what the phone says,” Kealoha said. Then we checked again. There’s a couple of building owned by this conference. We’re hoping the real one won’t be as frightening.

Until tomorrow….

Oh! And I’m giving Broadway regards from many of you who’ve asked. I’ll whisper your name to Broadway and tell her you say hello.