Sometimes conversations or bits of conversation happen in my house and I just start laughing. It’s like I can step outside of myself and hear myself say something, but I can’t stop myself.
Consider the below. Louis is 6. Keep that in mind.
ME: Louis, eat your crepes.
LOUIS: No. I won’t do it. I won’t eat my crepes.
ME: Do you know how lucky you are? How many kids do you think get crepes in the morning? I mean besides French kids. Most kids get like poptarts. Maybe. Eat your crepes.
LOUIS: No! I don’t want crepes! They’re yucky.
ME: You wanted crepes. I made you crepes. You specifically asked for crepes three times. Eat your crepes. All you get today is crepes. That’s it.
LOUIS: Then I guess I’ll starve.
ME: I guess so.
LOUIS: And you’ll go to jail and you’ll be sooooo upset because you killed your son.
ME: Well. That will be a sad end to our story, won’t it?
Louis came down from his room half an hour later. We apologized to each other. He ate his crepes. I won. I’m #1!! Yay!!
Louis was in my lap, kissing me and then he started nuzzling my neck like our emotionally disturbed three-legged cat Peanut does.
ME: Louis, stop suckling me.
LOUIS: Why? I like suckling you. ME: Yeah. But you’re too old for that. You shouldn’t suckle anyone until you’re at least eighteen. Probably older.
LOUIS: (blink blink blink) Okay, Ma.