Would You Read This? UPDATED

Busy week for me. It’s supposed to be spring break, and I guess it is, but I’ve spent the week narrating and bemoaning that I feel tubby. It always happens when I narrate. I have to sit still for three days and eat gigantic meals and it makes me crabby. Ah well.

I’m also prepping for this conference I’m going to in New York. I’m going to meet 5 editors, and pitch my story to them. It’s a commercial fiction conference, and they’re looking for work that will sell. But how do you condense a novel into a one-minute pitch? You know those little back flaps on a books? They’re fucking hard to write. I hate to swear, but sometimes, you’ve just got to.

My question is…is this a book you’d want to read? 

Here’s my pitch:

Foodies Rush In

Dana Kupiac is a single mom and certain that love has passed her by, especially since her husband left her over a year ago. With the help of Dana’s eternally-lactating sister Valerie, Dana takes a once in a lifetime trip to a food conference in Las Vegas where she learns a lot about her new foodie business, and also has a wild weekend with a quirky gentleman. Their adventure ends in an impromptu ceremony where they’re “married” by Elvis.

Dana returns home, thinking that what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Life, though, has other plans. What happened in Vegas actually knocks on her door a week later, proving that maybe life has a few more surprises for Dana.

Dana's whirlwind romance is awkward and real and warm. “Foodies Rush In” is rich with quirky characters and realistic moments. It’s a story that proves that love can happen for anyone, even if your heart is broken. Even if you’re starting over. Even if you’re a mom with two kids. Even if you have a name like Theodore Drimmel.

***

I don’t know. It’s a quiet kind of novel. Funny. Awkward. Quirky. But I don’t know how to sell it. I’m hoping I can get a little more confident with it, and convince an editor to take a chance on a tubby girl from Michigan.

Although I’m hoping by next week, I’ll feel a little less bloated. I’ve vowed no salt or ice cream or salted ice cream until after the conference. Drinking wine or mai tais with my man, well, that’s another story. I’m not crazy. I’m not giving up everything that’s good. Just stuff that makes me feel pudgy. Of course, I could probably get on the treadmill too. Man, if only spring would get here...

I got a little sidetracked. Sorry. If you have any thoughts on my pitch, let me know. I'd love to get some feedback before walking into the scary NYC writing conference. And if I can't have feedback, then I'd at least like to learn some wrestling moves to force an agent or editor into taking me on.

UPDATE

After reading the great comments, I updated the pitch. Here's the new one:

Dana Kupiac is a single mom and certain that love has passed her by, especially since her husband left her over a year ago for the wilds of Ohio and a woman named Allyssa. With the help of Dana’s eternally-lactating sister Valerie, Dana takes a once in a lifetime trip to a food conference in Las Vegas where she learns a lot about selling her spicy chutneys, and meets a man whose name suggests more nerd than knockout: Theodore Drimmel. Their weekend together ends in an impromptu ceremony where they’re “married” by Elvis.

Dana returns home to Michigan, thinking that what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Life, though, has other plans. What happened in Vegas actually knocks on her door a week later. It seems Theodore isn’t sure if he’s legally married to Dana or not, and if he is, then his fiancée might be a little upset.

What happens next is awkward and real and warm, and involves a broken leg and a Michigan Guard father who is so intense he can carve a canoe out of a tree with just a toothpick and his bare teeth. “Foodies Rush In” is a story that proves that love can happen for anyone, even if your heart is broken and you’re starting over. Even if you have a crazy family. Even if you’re a nerd more comfortable with the recipe for a great chicken piccata than a recipe for a real relationship. Can a single mom and an awkward entrepreneur find love? If Iron Chefs can create delicious onion-flavored ice cream, then maybe two eccentrics can find the right recipe for love.