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Uh...Awkward. ( AKA Adventures At Local Author Book Fair)

On Saturday I attended my second book fair. The first book fair was when I had just my first book available: “Easy Does It”. I sat out in the rain near a lake while parents ushered cranky kids right past me and bought books on Jesus and Good Cooking. I vowed after that experience to never attend a book fair again. It was humiliating. I felt like I was begging people to buy my work. All I needed was a cardboard sign saying “Hungry writer. Please buy my book” and a tin can. But I decided to give it another go. When the Grand Rapids Public Library decided to host twenty-five local authors (and I was included) how could I turn that down? It would be a terrific event! I could sell my books, do a reading, meet people who read my work. I immediately ordered supplies: extra books and band-aid promotional swag. I promoted the event on Facebook, on my website, my big ol’ face was even in the paper. With 25 writers also promoting the event, we would have easily a few hundred people there. Right?

 

I vastly overestimated. It was awkward, awful, and a smidge humiliating. What I thought was an opportunity to read our work, was more of a flash discussion on publishing, which I whole-heartedly did not want to discuss. So we sat outside while writers and attendees abandoned the book fair for an hour and a half to talk ‘shop’ AKA BSing.

Kealoha was with me and he made me laugh (except when he analyzed the meaning of 'bad boy' and where did that come from and then I just felt tired). When people came by my booth, they’d grab a band-aid dispenser, smile awkwardly and then go talk to the nonfiction dude sitting next to me. The mostly above-age-seventy group (of maybe fifty or so people) weren’t interested in romantic comedies. Except one woman. She reads romances while she works out her bad knee on a treadmill because you don’t really need to think when you read a romance. She passed on my book though and chose another’s (a friend of mine, so I’m glad she at least sold something).

 

Another woman stopped by, read “Blunder Woman” for about twenty minutes, laughed, said “You are really good”, and then proceeded to flip to the final pages of the book, read the ending, and then said thanks and walked away. I gave her a band-aid dispenser of course too.

The most action we got was from men admiring Kealoha’s fancy sign with the phone code things that you can take a picture of and go to a sight. They took pictures of the display so they could copy it.

Another woman stopped by, read the titles of my books and asked “So…uh…do you write comedy?” I said yes. She said "Hm."

We sat there. I tried not to get depressed. I tried not to think that this was just another sign that I’m writing things people don’t want to read. I’m exhausted by endlessly promoting something people don’t seem to care about. I feel like I’m pleading with people and shouting “But I’m funny! This book will make you happy!” It feels sort of like elementary school when you want to be in the popular group, but you can never BE in the popular group because to get in the popular group you can’t WANT it.

We sold one book…to a friend of Kealoha’s. I think he arm wrestled her to get her to come down. * sigh * (She was very nice though. I’ve met her a few times. She’s funny and she geocaches.)

So. What’s an awkward novelist going to do? I’ve got book four just waiting for a publisher, but if I can’t get people to read the first three, who’s going to read the fourth, besides my mother-in-law, mom, and Kealoha?

It IS depressing.

I know the book fair wasn’t the perfect venue for me, but it seems like neither is online, my blog, my publisher’s site, Amazon, or Facebook. People just don’t want the books…and there comes a point when I have to stop pushing so hard. You can’t force people to read your work. You can’t force them to buy it. The only thing you can do is give them a free band-aid dispenser and hope they think of you.

Wah. I’m whining. I know it.

 

The event itself was lovely and the library did a great job, there just weren’t enough people there, and certainly not enough interested in romantic comedies.

 

I’ve got one more last chance with “Foodies Rush In” and then we’re self-publishing it, and I’m not writing any more romantic comedies for the foreseeable future.

For now, I’m writing stories. Sci-fi and Young Adult and whatever else occurs to me. Stories are short, manageable, filled with energy, and it doesn’t break my heart if someone doesn’t want to read it. I can always write another. In fact, I wrote two new stories this weekend. That’s got to count for something. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe my best work is in front of me, the work that people will line up to read.

You gotta keep hoping. That’s what I do.

Six Sentence Sunday

“Gawd,” Megan breathed, trying to hoist the enormous menu up in front of her eyes. “I’ve heard that everything is bigger in the north…” She paused mid-sentence as our waiter materialized next to Megan.

She turned her head and was nose to, well, let’s just say, our waiter’s lower waist...midsection....below the belt...to the side of the leg.

Oh, for crying out loud, Megan’s nose almost touched our waiter’s dick (which was in his pants of course).

“Case in point,” Mom said and motioned to our waiter.

From "Blunder Woman" by Tanya Eby published by Champagne Books.

Want more Six Sentences to entice you? Check it out here: Six Sentence Sunday

Street Team Powers ACTIVATE

Last week I mentioned on Facebook that my publisher (Champagne Books) is hoping their writers can form "street teams". I didn’t know what the beejus that was either, except it sounded like you should carry a baseball bat and be all slicked back and tough like in The Outsiders. And they wore way too much hair product for my taste.

A street team, though, is just a group of people who like a musician, an artist, or a writer and want to promote them. One thing I’ve learned as I dip into publishing is that while I can get my stuff out there, it’s really hard to let people know about it. I simply can’t do it alone. Basically, I’m looking for some devoted minions, except, you know, nice minions. LIke you'd be more prone to give a backrub than take over the world.

 

What do you do? What kind of relationship is this? Basically, I give you some free stuff to get you started. In the beginning, I can give up to fifteen free books (maybe twenty if there are some ebooks in there). One to each minion. And all you do is tell a friend. Maybe mention my blog or facebook page, or suggest that your book club cover a quirky romantic comedy or mystery instead of a super serious death-read. And that’s it. That’s all you have to do. You tell a friend through face-to-face, Twitter, Facebook, what have you. If my work is strong enough, others will want to read it. And then I can keep writing.

 

In the future (as soon as I get things ordered), you’ll receive some free promo stuff. Bookmarks, Band-Aids, recipes, etc. Keep some for yourself, and share with others. You can help me promote an awkward book tour and I might have some dorky challenges. (Like be in a book trailer.)

 

It’s painless and potentially fun. Why would you want to help someone you don’t even know? Good question. I can’t answer that, but I think it’d be fun to be part of a clandestine organization where the only point is to tell someone about an unknown writer and hope it catches on.

 

It’s sort of like attaching a note to a balloon and letting it go and hoping someone across the ocean gets it. (And of course that the balloon doesn’t pop and kill a dolphin. I’m emphatically against killing dolphins. And unicorns. I do not kill unicorns.)

What do you say? Want to help? Email me your name, email, and address and if you’d like a paperback or ebook. If you have a preference for which book you’d like to receive, let me know that too. There are three to choose from: “Easy Does It”, “Blunder Woman” and “Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage”.

 

Free stuff for you…and for me…someone new might stumble across my work. It’s not just about money. I’m really not making any money at all on this. I just want to keep writing and keep finding ways to find the funny in life.

 

Win a book! For real! April 11 only.

Did you see the interview this morning with Emily Richett on Fox 17? If not, here it is:

To celebrate that interview and the release of "Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage" I'm giving away TWO BOOKS for FREE! That's right. I won't include any ginzu knives though.

How do you enter? Simply leave a comment on my blog today (anywhere works) or tweet me, or send me a message on my author page on Facebook: Tanya Eby Narrator, Novelist and Numskull.

At the end of the day, someone wins. It's that easy. Winner chooses which book they want.