Wonderfully Bad Poetry

Yesterday, Kealoha and I went to our daughter Moxie’s 1st Grade Poetry Slam. There was no actual ‘slammin’ going on, though I had been looking forward to seeing the kiddos wearing hoodies and trashing each other with their words. Mostly, they just read their poems to us. Kealoha wanted to bring his bongo, but settled for snapping his fingers in approval

I should say “poems”. These were the strangest, darkest, most awful poems I have ever experienced. I. Loved. It. Every single second of it.

You all know I’m a fan of bad poetry, and there’s nothing quite as bad as awkward children re-writing poems that they don’t really like in the first place. Add in stuttering, microphone feedback, bad teeth, and cowlicks, and you have a coffee shop open mic night. I mean, first graders.

I tried to quickly memorize some of my favorite poems. I will share a couple with you now:

Jack And Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of hot oil Jack fell down the hill and rolled Into an alligator’s mouth and the Alligator ate him And Jill came jumping after

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a skyscraper And fell off And busted into a million pieces and died And they couldn’t put him back together again Because he was dead and in a million pieces.

The Earth

The earth smells like my mom. I love our earth!

And…this one from Moxie:

Hey Diddle Diddle

Hey diddle diddle The cow didn’t jump over the moon. Also, the cat didn’t play the fiddle Because cats do not have arms. The dish and the spoon tried to run away, But they forgot they don’t have legs. Hey diddle diddle Do you like my new riddle?

I’m a little bit in love with these kids, although, maybe, just maybe, they could use a little more poetry in their lives and a little less realism.