Random Thing # 2: DIVA

#2  

I’m narrating all week and I had a diva moment yesterday. I really try to get along with everyone, and I’m not sure what happened except the engineer likes to take long breaks, and I like to take short ones. See, he’s there hourly. I’m there on contract…so I want to get that puppy read and get home. What I didn’t know is that I guess on breaks lots of engineers come to him with questions so it takes him twice as long. But I actually said in the booth “You are kidding me! Another break! Where is he going? What IS GOING ON? I SAID NO! WIRE! HANGERS!!!!” He came back and told me to relax.

I think trying to diet (or ‘change my eating habits’) is making me grouchy.

Day 2 NY: Rare bathrooms and psychic surgery

My plan was to come to New York, go to this little writing conference by day, go to restaurants and shows and out drinking at night, and blog about the whole experience. Promises, promises. So, yeah. I underestimated a few things here.

First, there are hardly any public toilets in New York. They exist, but they’re hidden. What does this have to do with blogging? Well, I spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about where is the next pee stop. Women, you know what I’m talking about. I’m drinking coffee like crazy to stay awake and spirited, but it makes my bladder all crazy. So that’s taken my mind off blogging.

The second thing is there’s also hardly any free wifi. You can find pockets here and there, but if you want wifi, you’ve got to pay for it. And pay a lot. I guess I’m cheap. I’ve broken down and paid for it at the hotel, but I’m not there all that much.

And the third things I underestimated was just how tired I’d be after the conference. Yesterday, we spent all day listening to book pitch after book pitch. I’m not kidding. ALL DAY. We’d listen to the pitch, give comments, and answer the writer’s questions. It was grueling. I learned a lot, and I also understand why some editors and agents get crabby. When you hear a bad pitch or encounter a writer who isn’t prepared and there are a hundred other writers in line waiting to pitch to you, you sort of feel like “You’re wasting my time”. My goal now is to be so interesting and prepared that I won’t see the editor’s eyes glaze over.

So far this has been a fantastic trip including great food and drinks with Kealoha at a Cuban restaurant, walking around NYC, and last night we saw a terrific show called “Play Dead”. It was creepy and scary and there were moments when you’re in total darkness and then you feel something scurry across your head. And then Kealoha was called up on stage, put on a table, had his shirt lifted, and then had a psychic surgery  in which the magician pulled out all these guts and gore from K’s exposed belly and (oh yeah) a naked woman crawled out too. I wasn’t happy about a naked woman crawling over Kealoha, but he assures me the lights were so bright he didn’t notice her nipples. He said he could only see her when she transformed into an old dead woman.

You’d think I made the above up. I assure you, it’s all true.

As I write this, I’m sitting in my hotel room. I’ve got a busy day today. First pitch to a major publishing house. I feel really confident about the pitch…now I just hope that an editor bites and wants to read it. And if they read it, I hope the novel is strong enough. I think it is. And if it’s not, by golly, I’ll make sure it gets there. I’m so motivated right now I could like, kick things.

Maybe I should cut back on the coffee.

Order Pepper Wellington HERE

"Pepper Wellington and the Case of the Missing Sausage" is now available!

Click the following link to visit Champagne Books website: Yes! I want PW in a PDF (pdq)!

Click the following link to visit All Romance Ebooks: Yes! I want PW in another ebook format or for my phone!

Click the following link to visit Amazon: Yes! I want PW for the Kindle!

Nook version is coming soon.

In case you're curious, books through my publisher are available first in ebook format. If they sell well enough, they go to print. So, if you're waiting for the print book, tell your friends who like ebooks to order. The book is cheap $3.99, and a fast read.

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it. Let me know. I love to get comments from readers. Shoot, I love to get comments from anyone, even if they're not reading my stuff. (Except Spammers. They just annoy me.)

Book Trailer for "Pepper Wellington"

Coming February 7, 2011 from Champagne Books...

Ridiculous Educational Videos from the 40s and 50s

In my gender class, we're looking at stereotypes. Men, of course, are Manly Men, and women are Girly Girls. I love talking about extremes because it's so ridiculous, like in these two pictures:

I also wanted to show some old educational videos. Here are a few. They're hilarious. Of course, they're also a good reminder of how women were treated and 'educated' fifty years ago. It's kind of shocking.

I love this one. It tells you how to have good grooming. Check out the instructions for the woman and how she needs to take care of her stubby hands.

Here's one that warns against being the girl 'who parks with boys at night'.

And this one is a modern take off of the videos, but it makes me laugh:

I Guest Blogged

I guest-blogged at my writing group's website. The Grand Rapids Region Writers Group, to be exact. Check it out here (the blog and read about the group): http://grandrapidsregionwritersgroup.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-big-epiphany-of-week.html

A Note and Two Possible Hangover Cures

It’s 2011! Twenty-eleven. Holy cannoli. This makes me feel…

Surprisingly good. Not only is it a new year…but a new decade. And I’m starting mine off with Kealoha and lots of adventures (and no doubt misadventures) to come.

Last night we had Chinese food and then once the kids were in bed, Kealoha gave me a back rub, followed by rubbing my head. That immediately relaxed me to the point that I was drooling. “Must. Crawl. To. Couch.” I said. Kealoha talked to me for a while. I don’t know what he said. I was too busy snoring. It was 8:30 PM.

There was a time when I would’ve stayed up at all night drinking gin&tonics and having awkward drunken conversations with people. Then I would’ve called or sent drunken emails to old boyfriends, crushes, and just random people.

So if you’re looking for a hangover cure, I have two. Both of these are HIGHLY SCIENTIFIC. The first, I recommend. Drink a ton of water and eat a ridiculously large breakfast from a restaurant consisting (but not limited to) hash browns, bacon, biscuit and gravy, an over medium egg with toast, and coffee. Then go to sleep. The massive breakfast will soak up all the alcohol in your system and/or put you into a carbo-load induced deep sleep.

If you need a quick fix, then try option #2. Watch an action sequence from Lord of the Rings. Turn it up really loud. Try to watch all the camera moves. Within a half hour, you should be rushing for the bathroom and ‘getting rid of’ all the alcohol poisoning your system. I did this once. It’s not a method I recommend but it was a quick fix to a hangover. I like the carbohydrate way more.

Cheers and Happy New Beginning.

Tanya

Week of Champagne Books: Meet Mindy Fausey, Editor

In the third installment of this series, we meet Mindy Fausey, Editor for both Champagne Books and Carnal Passions.

What brought you to Champagne Books and your position?

MINDY FAUSEY: I submitted a story to Champagne about four years ago and was impressed by the professionalism and the company. My edits were right on, my editor was professional and wonderful to work with, and Ellen, with her quirky, snappy sense of humor made me feel right at home. So, when they advertised for an editorial position, I jumped on it and applied for a line editor position. After completing the editing test, I was delighted when she offered me a position as a content editor.

What do you do for Champagne Books?

I'm a content editor for Champagne, meaning I edit for a book's content. I look for plot inconsistencies and other plot boo boo's. However, I also make it easier for the line editor and correct any grammar I see along the way, too.

Are you currently looking for submissions and if so, what kind?

Personally, I would love to see more fantasy, dark fantasy, and urban fantasy. Some science fiction would be nice, too. Even the right kind of horror (think Dean Koontz) can make a fine platform for a romance. I also love ghost stories, but it's got to be original!

If you could create the perfect book, what elements would it have in it (besides being well written)?

Ohhhhhh, wowee. I would love to write a believeable autobiography of my life. The main problem would be making it believeable, because, as it stands, it's a wild ride most readers would think just plain crazy. But, the perfect novel would have some suspense, some sexual tension, believeable characters, realistic dialogue (a biggee for me), and the classic plot arch. It would have an identifible "black moment" where the relationship between the hero and heroine seemed doomed. The black moment doesn't have to be a fight between them--it can be where savages have the heroine burning at a stake or kidnapped by aliens.

Is there anything aspiring writers should avoid? Any pitfalls or "Kiss of Death" mistakes to avoid?

My personal pet peeves are 1. the he/she felt/thought/realized/saw/decided pitfall. If we're in the characters point of view, the reader will know the character is feeling/thinking/realizing, etc. it. 2. Unbelieveable characters. The hero or heroine's mother doesn't ALWAYS have to be either a saint or a harpie. Where are the ordinary, average moms like me? Lol... 3. Unrealistic dialogue. Write like you talk. Don't have a character say, "Nevertheless, you should not behave in such a ghastly manner." in the 21st century. Make her say, "Damn it, you stupid ass! Stop acting like an idiot!"

Anything else you want to share about your background or interests?

I'm very active. I believe that a body in motion stays in motion. I'm a native Florida girl, so naturally I love the water. I love to jet ski better than boys, surf, swim for my workouts, and play a mean game of beach volleyball. I have Asperger's, which I'm working on successfully conquering, so my interests are vast and varying. Right now I'm interested in the Indians that used to inhabit the area where I live. There are some untouched Indian mounds all over the place, along with plenty of Spanish gold to be found, and I'm working on getting permission from landowners to poke around their vacant lots.

Are you currently reading anything for pleasure right now, and if so, what is it?

I've got way too many interesting stories to edit, all of them excellent reading. But, when I get the rare break in editing, I like Jodi Picoult, Margaret George, anything about Henry VIII, and Dean Koontz, as well as some well written fantasy.

**********

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT:

To read an excerpt from Champagne novelist Julie Eberhart Painter, click on the book cover below. It's available in both print and ebook formats:

Tunnel Vision (The Summary & Backstory)

In the early days of summer, I asked for help deciding what kind of novel I was going to write next. My three novels are all romantic comedies. Did my readers choose for me to write another romantic comedy? No. No they did not. They wanted to challenge me and voted for a Gothic Suspense Historical novel. Holy expletive.

I thought about it for a while and decided to go back to my roots: an insane asylum.

Let me explain. So I grew up in Traverse City, Michigan with my house two blocks from the bay. I could hear the waves on the water and when storms rolled in, my house shook.  My mom was as single mom and worked as an arts and crafts advisor for a place called "The Friendship Center", a mental health care nonprofit that helped people with emotional or physical disabilities. Most of them lived in foster homes as the psychiatric hospitals had all shut down. Some were very functional, and some had sever psychoses. From the age of seven, I spent a lot of time at my mom's work and I even 'volunteered'. On a week long summer camp, I was there with all the campers. I poured their orange juice for when they had to take pills...three times a day. I met people with epilepsy, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, OCD, and people whose minds were blank from too much drug use. It sounds scary, but as a kid it wasn't. They were just kids in adult bodies...and I felt cool because I was smarter than most of them. A horrible thing to say, but that's what it was like.

10 years later, my mom worked part-time at the Traverse City State Mental Hospital. It was being refurbished and was no longer a hospital. She took me on a tour of the tunnels and the grounds and told me a story that there was a child born in the tunnels and raised by 'inmates'. It was just a rumor, she said. The story, the tour, and my experience with the mentally ill has stayed with me.

This is the genesis for "Tunnel Vision". It is 1933 and Doctor Kinney arrives to the Northern Michigan Insane Asylum (as it was called then) to start a new job. He is mourning the loss of his wife and he has dark secrets. We meet interesting characters and a vast tunnel system. After exploring the tunnels, Kinney thinks he sees his dead wife. It is not his wife at all but a woman named "Ama". Ama exists and doesn't exist. She was born to an inmate in the tunnels and cared for by a collection of people. She knows no past or future, only present. She knows nothing of the outside world. She is passionate and kind and fierce, and Kinney decides to own her. She is such a blank slate that Kinney believes maybe, just maybe, he can reshape her. Give her some memories of his wife's, make her act and talk like his wife. In this way, he can raise the dead. He takes Ama away from the asylum and is joined by a nurse, Mallie Lyn Peters. He is going to experiment with mind control.

There's a parallel story of a young woman in the 50's looking into her past.

That's where we're at now. I'll tell you, there are a lot of issues with it. There isn't enough dialogue and I didn't flesh out the supporting characters. I'm making weird choices that are confusing at times. So...read with caution. You are reading a rough draft. A first draft actually. I write it, look for typos and post it.  I'll be re-writing extensively in the future. If you want to see how a novel develops, keep reading. And thanks for taking the time.

Best,

Tanya

Balancing Wonder Woman, 2 Kids, and Biff While in a Bikini

The day started with an omen. I put on my new bright blue Wonder Woman t-shirt. Simone, my 4-year-old daughter told me it was too young for me and I shouldn’t buy it but I bought it anyway. When she saw me wearing it, she was mad because she wanted one too, and who can blame her? I’m obsessed with Wonder Woman. Who wouldn’t want to be her? Long dark hair. Killer cleavage. Gold bracelets. And an INVISIBLE plane. I thought I could use some her juju. On went the shirt.

I spent the wee hours of the morning cooking, cleaning, watching the kiddos. Simone gave me a hug then pulled a long sticker that was on my boob. It was marked LARGE. So, yeah, the only thing I channeled from Wonder Woman was an invisible sticker that let everyone know I have big knockers, and with the right push-up, killer cleavage.

She's Hot. Who Wouldn't Want to Be Her?

Good thing I didn’t go out like that.

Biff joined us around ten. He met the kids yesterday and much to my surprise, he wanted to come back. I’ve been struggling with the idea of having him meet the kids or not. Some people say you wait six months and until you’re super serious; some say you introduce them right away. We debated this. In the end, I decided that I wanted him to meet them. We are serious, I think. Serious enough at this stage. And I do feel like I’m living a double life, and I’m tired of keeping the two sides separate.

While it’s not exactly a Clark Kent/Superman kind of life, I do have the one side of me that is a sexy, single woman who’s passionate and artistic and emotional; the other side of me has two kids, wipes noses and bottoms, cooks, cleans, says ridiculous things like “Do not put your butt in each other’s faces!” and wears yoga pants even though I don’t do yoga. It’s not pretty.

I guess I was scared to let Biff meet the kids for a couple of reasons. What if they hate each other? What if he’s mean to them? What if the kids are mean to him? What if once he sees me as a Mom he’ll just see me as someone who once lactated? And how sexy is that?

And then, at lunch, Louis (he’s 5) said “So, Biff, do you have a wife?”

I about choked. Biff just smiled and said, “No. No, I don’t.”

Louis shrugged his shoulders and then said, “Well, you could marry my mom if you wanted.”

Yep. I was officially dying.

Biff said, “Would you like me to do that?”

Louis shrugged again. “If she wanted to. It’s her choice really.” Then Louis came over and gave me a kiss. I thanked him for taking care of me. I sort of feel like in that kiss he was telling me that whatever I wanted was okay with him. That's pretty spectacular from a five-year-old.

The kids liked Biff. I think they want to see me happy and I have to say that today, I was. I was also terrified. I am terrified. What if I made the wrong decision? What if Biff is freaked out by the demands of dating a woman with kids? What if, what if, what if.

I don’t know.

It’s night now and Biff is home and my kids are asleep. I just put on my yoga pants and slipped back into my Wonder Woman t-shirt. If anything, she reminds me that a woman, no matter her situation, is powerful. She can fight crime, work during the day, fly a jet, be an Amazon, and look sexy while doing it all. That’s all I’m trying to do right now with my life…everything. Some days, I think I manage okay.

A Day In The Life--Me as Narrator

I recently had a suggestion from S. Esperanza to blog about what it’s like being a narrator. Funny, I’ve never really written about it…mostly because I thought it would be boring. Then I stopped to think, well, just because I do it and am used to it, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily boring. If you were watching me narrate it would be. I’m not supposed to move because every movement projects a sound, so basically you’d just be looking at me sitting perfectly still while my face contracts and pinches. Not pretty. Still, though, maybe it is interesting.

A day in the life, then.

A standard book takes about three days to narrate. Think of the books you see in gas stations or grocery stores, you know, the New York Times bestsellers. All about three days. Longer ones, especially fantasies, can take much longer. As a narrator, the actual reading aloud of the story is really a unique experience. It feels really intimate to me. Not in a naughty way, but in a deeply personal one. When you read out loud, you somehow crawl inside a story, you inhabit it. You try to become the characters and the narrator, and for a while, the whole world slips off your shoulders and you’re just transported. Books that I wouldn’t necessarily choose to read on my own, have been delightful surprises. I’ve been inside romances and adventures, terrifying chases, car crashes, breakups, and I’ve fallen in love over and over and over again. And everytime it’s something new. I’m getting off track though.

SAMPLES OF MY NARRATION

So the day starts like this: Coffee and food. Coffee for energy and food, lots of it, so that my stomach doesn’t start growling at 10:30am. I’ll wake up at 5:30AM, write, coffee up, and then in the car by 7. Sometimes I stop and get a big breakfast sandwich, or I’ll eat something at home. And I have to pack a snack. Yogurt and berries. A pb&j sandwich. I love crunchy vegetables and vegetarian food, but when I’m narrating, I can’t eat those things. My stomach works to hard. It’s embarrassing how many sounds your body makes while you narrate. You swallow so much air while reading you start to burp like Homer Simpson. So, I stick to sandwiches. Or, sammiches, as I call them. It’s a good thing I’m a fan.

In the studio at 8:15. There’s four studios to choose from A, B, C, and D. A is freezing, B is hot. C is pretty okay but there’s a ghost there. D is cold and hot and there’s ambient noises from the shipping area RIGHT NEXT DOOR. You get a director and an engineer. They air lock you in the room, you have a stack of pages in front of you and you read. You try to avoid falling into a pattern with your voice or the narration will be monotonous. They give me a special S filter because I happen to be a little sibilant. I don’t use my talking voice. It’s too high and whiny. I slip into my lower register. It’s comfortable there…like slipping on silky pajamas.

I used to highlight all the different characters in different colors and assign descriptions to them: High & Whiny, Pinched Nose, Side Talker, Sexy, With Gravel. Just little clues to help me figure out which voice to read. You don’t want every man to be deep, or that’s boring. And if you listen to people, you realize there’s a whole range of voices besides high and deep. There’s breathy, and tentative, fast talkers, and enunciators. There are speakers who sound angry, and speakers who have voices warm and round as honey flowing. Now I don’t highlight. I’ve gotten enough practice that when I read aloud something, my eye skips ahead for any descriptions or what’s coming up next. It’s weird and hard to explain.

We break for lunch at 12:30. Sometimes I hang out with the engineers and other narrators where we talk about books and issues with words (is ‘angst’ really pronounced ‘ahhhngst”) or we talk sci-fi or movies. Many of the conversations start with “Did you hear about…” and it’s a superhero character or a weird fact or something about food. They always make me laugh.

Or if I’m stressed or tired from talking (it happens) I head over to Panera bread where it’s soup and sandwich and internet access. At 1:30 it’s back to the studio, and I narrate until about 4:30 when my energy bar is so zapped I can’t read a sentence without screwing up. I can read 4 or 5 pages without a mistake if I’m on a roll. That’s like 7 minutes. Dick Hill and Sandra Burr, narrators extraordinaire, have been known to read over twenty minutes without a mistake. Not sure how long Joyce Bean or Laural Merlington can go, but I’m sure they’re in the twenty minute range too.

Hmmm. Taken out of context, you might be confused about what I’m talking about there.

Then I pack up and head home. An hour drive. I listen to NPR so other people can talk.

I listen to audiobooks because I love them and I’m trying to get better. The first two books I narrated a decade ago were such colossal bombs that they almost destroyed my career. In fact, after reading Seven Up by Janet Evanovitch, there was so much hate mail against me they actually pulled the narration. I didn’t work again for 6 years. But I have gotten better. If anything, that’s a story of how you can come back from the brink of disaster. They gave me another shot with the Meg Gardiner series following cool chick Evan Delany. Fast paced action, murder mysteries. Loved that series. Then I was given a book called “The Post Birthday World” by Lionel Schriver with a story so beautiful I actually cried in the studio. You can hear it on the recording. Deen Koontz chose my voice once, as did Philip Roth. And now my favorites are the Susan Mallery series and I highly enjoyed the Nora Roberts book. Plus books by Alex Kava and Tess Gerritsen. I do worry that the authors won't like my voice. Sometimes I wish I could talk to them directly so I'd know what they want, but we're not allowed. Seems funny to me, but I guess I get it. Every once in a while I hear from an author, but it's rare. I do try to make them proud.

I don’t know if this is interesting to anyone or not…but sometimes I look around in the studio and I think “I actually get to do this? Who gets to do something so cool?” And, of course, how did I get so lucky. I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that every book I read, I fall in love a little bit more…with language, and stories, and just the creative spirit.

I’m a lucky girl. And it’s time for me to eat a sammich.

New Misadventures with Biff OR Why I'm Still Blunder Woman

I’ve been blogging a bit about past loves. I left off at college and I might return to that story, but right now, it’s current dating I’m thinking about. So, at 36, I’m finally dating again. I’ve met men over the last year and had a sorta relationship for a few months, but this is different. This is old school nervousness, sweaty palms, and general stuttering. You’d think that with all my ‘life experience’ I’d be a pro at this.

Okay. If you read my blog, you probably would not think this at all. The truth is, I’m just as awkward at this as everything else in my life. The only difference is that now I can laugh about it.

So, the guy’s name? Biff Turlington. Yeah, that’s right. Biff. Turlington. (No way is that a pseudonym, is there?) He’s not my usual type. I tend to be drawn to dark, short Italian men for some reason. And they’re usually stocky, like they could probably lift dead bodies over their heads and drop them off at the wharf. This guy? He’s tall and thin and equally awkward. A little neurotic. Sometimes pretentious. Funny. (And I know you’re reading this. I’ll expect a list of return compliments.) I won’t go on with the list, but I will say I feel really comfortable with him. Even when I totally make an ass of myself.

Apparently, there are all these hidden dating rules that I’d either forgotten or was just never been clued in to. Take for example the night when we were acting like teenagers (do I need to go into detail?) and there was a pause and I said breathlessly “You could stay over if you want.”

Biff said, “I’ve really got to go. I have to work early in the morning.”

I thought, oh, okay, so I did the most natural thing. I quickly walked him to the door, told him good night and then shut the door firmly so that no passing marauders could bust in to my house.

Days later, I was at dinner with a girlfriend, a lovely red-headed vixen who really could be my sister. (I don’t mean we look alike. She’s cuter than me, but we’re so similar it’s possible our parents dated.) Biff then tells her the story and she bursts out laughing. “What?” I asked.

“Tanya, he didn’t really want to go to work.”

“Didn’t he?”

“No. You were supposed to convince him to stay.”

“Or at least walk me to my car and give me a long kiss,” Biff interrupted.  “Not shove me out the door.”

Really? “But you said you had to work. I was being respectful.”

Apparently, in dating, you’re not supposed to be respectful. See, you make an offer, the guy tries to be polite, and then you attack him. I get it now. Really.

It took me a couple of tries to understand though.

On the day of my potluck, Biff came over to help set up. He yawned and said, “Boy, I’m tired. I think I’ll go upstairs for a nap.” Then he just sort of stared at me.

“Okay. Enjoy!” I said, then I happily went about making my pavlova.

Later I find out that here again was another subtle ploy. He meant to say: “I’m going for a ‘nap’.” Subtext: come upstairs with me now.

Subtlety just doesn’t work for me. I’ve talked to him about it. We now have a secret signal that when he’s following these unwritten dating rules of not saying exactly what he means, he’ll give the signal and I’ll know “Okay. This is flirting.” and/or “It’s time to attack him”.

I can do this. I can totally learn this new way of flirting. And if not, then he’ll just have to spell it out for me. Literally. He might have to write it down, and then I’ll understand it. I told him last night that there was a Lover’s Lane when I was growing up. I never went there but I did give other people directions on how to get there.

Maybe now, I’m hanging out there. I don’t know quite how it happened or what to do now, so I’m sort of just stumbling my way through it, sweaty palms and all.

Guest Blog: TM Camp "3 Areas Writers Let Themselves Down"

T.M. Camp, novelist,  playwright, and marketing guru has some great ideas for writers. And he's the one that got me started with online promotion. Beyond being deeply talented, he's also very wise, and a good person to boot. Here's what he has to say On Writing:

There are three areas in which writers typically let themselves down.

The first is absolutely in their control, and yet they often act like it is not. That is, they do not actually write. They don't sit down every day and put new words in front of each other. There are always excuses that get in front of it -- there's no time, it was a hard day at the office, the laundry's piling up, I'm too tired, I'm having a "block"... But writers (by definition) write.

Whether it's only for fifteen minutes or four hours, whether it's fifteen words or two thousand... Writers need to write every day. It's a responsibility, a stewardship of the gifts you've been given. And, ultimately, it's how you demonstrate your commitment, how you improve, and how you lay a foundation for your dreams.

Whether you're striving to be an Olympic athlete, a power forward for the New York Knicks, or the World's Best Mom... If that's how you define yourself at your core, you need to put in the time every day.

And, as a writer, it's one of the few things that you can actually control in the process. Too easily, we let ourselves off the hook.

The second area where writers fail themselves is in the professional arena. They know words, they know how to tell stories and develop characters, they write things that people want to read... but they let their own ignorance of the industry keep them from doing what's needed to get to the next level.

In all honesty, this has been my biggest failure. I've been writing for 25 years. I've only seriously dug into the publishing industry in the past few years. For too long, I allowed my ignorance to undercut all of my hard work and effort. It's regrettable and the feeling that you're making up for lost time is not a good one; it shortchanges your enthusiasm and gets in the way of the work itself.

Writers need to educate themselves, not just about their craft but also about their industry and how it connects them to their readers. They need to understand the business side of publishing, the ins and outs of it all and who the gatekeepers are.

Although the best practices and standards are variable from player to player -- that is, there's a lot of subjectivity and inconsistency across the range of expectations that agents and publishers bring to the table -- the industry is pretty well structured and documented. Writers should know it all, inside and out.

We need to have more than a vague familiarity with how that all works, so that we can plan our own approach to it all. Each writer needs to craft a professional thread for themselves, something they can follow... They need a guiding line that allows them to navigate the maze and avoid the pitfalls and fight the monsters along the way.

And thirdly, writers need to get very comfortable -- if not adept -- with new technologies, new media and emerging channels: Blogging, Social Networking and Marketing, Podcasting, Crowdsourcing, Print on Demand, Online Distribution, Creative Commons, and so many other buzzwords making the rounds... The opportunities presented by these still-evolving concepts are largely misunderstood, dismissed, and/or untapped by most writers.

Whether or not you think each and every one of them will be viable in the future, the impact that these things will have (the impact that is already apparent) on publishing is undeniable.

We've got a long way to go, but the ability for a writer to connect with an audience and build a platform for their work has never been more available to us.

And, from my perspective, it's never been more exciting to be a writer.

ABOUT T.M. CAMP

From a very early age, T.M. Camp has been making up stories and then writing them down. There is no reason to expect that he will stop any time soon. In addition to his long career in advertising, T.M. has written over thirty plays, numerous short stories and poems, and two novels. His plays have been produced by theatres in California, Michigan, Iowa, and Tennessee. A few of his scripts have even won awards. One of his plays — “The Red Boy” — broke into the top ten of the 2001 Writer’s Digest playscript competition. In 2007, T.M. finished his first novel “Assam & Darjeeling“, following it up with the novella “Matters of Mortology” in early 2008. In addition to a number of smaller, ongoing projects, T.M. is currently at work on his third novel, entitled “Pantheon”.In all of his work, T.M. explores boundaries — The boundaries between worlds… boundaries between the physical and the supernatural… the boundaries between people… and the boundaries within ourselves.

Check out "Matters of Mortology" by clicking HERE.

Rex Alter Episode Two (repost)

And Episode #2 "Drippy and the Great Escape"

Click here for REX ALTER EPISODE TWO

Networking Would Be Easier With Actual Net

Okay, I know that I'm supposed to talk about Afghanistan, football, water on the moon, Thanksgiving, twitter and tweeters, and I promise I'll get there. But first I want to talk about a party I went to last night.

My favorite sound studio, Sound Post, threw a little Happy Hour. That made me laugh because it was a Happy Hour scheduled from 5:30-7:30. In the land of commercial work, Happy Hours last double long. I decided to go. And I brought cookies and little cheesecake bars because that's the kind of girl I am. A domestic dork. I should've arrived in an apron too. I do owe Sound Post for all the work they've done for me/given me and I've calculated that it amounts to a year's worth of food, my soul, and a child. I'm working on all three.

At any rate, I'm an incredibly awkward person. I guess I'm gifted that way. So when I walked in and saw all these professional people, a little part of me died. It occurred to me that networking would be easier with an actual net, and I had visions of me as Spiderman (Not Spiderwoman mind you. My boobs would be distracting in a suit that tight.) I has visions of me as Spiderman shooting webs from my wrists actually forcing people to talk to me and take my business card.

I also wanted to channel a little old fashioned Mr. T. Arrive with my white girl mowhawk, say "Whatchou talking about Willis?" and take people down. Oh, wait. That's Channeling Diffrn't Strokes. See? Awkward.

But the night went okay. Dave from Pop Scholars joined me. He's cute and comforting and very tall. (He did a white boy rap in the booth which is too funny for words.) Oh! I got to bat my eyes at Stuart, always fun, and see Jerri's adorable dog, admire Sean's buzzcut, talk to a few casting people and advertising peeps, and actually have a really fun conversation with a gentlman who ran in fear as soon as he heard that in my books people have sex. A lot of sex. (Which isn't true at all. In "Blunder Woman" Chloe doesn't get laid AT ALL.)

The night ended on a high note when I climbed into the recording booth and did my naughty phone prompts. In a sexy-ish voice: "Thank you for holding. Are you still holding? You must be lonely. I'm lonely too. My name is Tanya. What are you wearing? Mmmmm." Oh. Yes. And I created a new word. "Thank you for holding. We can't answer the phone because we're getting schmastered." I meant to say either 'smashed' or 'plastered' but I somehow said them at the same time.

That was my evening. I liked it. Next time I'll wear an apron though. Just an apron. And maybe heels. That should get some attention.

Rex Alter Episode 2

In episode one, we met Rex Alter, son of the Prime Minister who's an upstart in a star fleet. When The Aura is attacked by The Shadow Master, a nefarious soul-sucker, Rex and a crew of misfits escape. Along with him is Julie Tittle, a woman he has a past with, and his alien cohorts: Drippy, Piku, and the amazing Simmy Pippins. In this episode, Rex and Drippy must save their ship from certain destruction while the Shadow Master continues to plot.

CLICK BELOW:

Rex Alter Episode 2: Drippy & The Great Escape

Podcast Easy Does It CH 19

Announcing...for one week....daily posts of EASY DOES IT Podcast!!! Woooot!

Why? Because this is one of my favorite parts of the book.

Julie (dressed as a vixen and trying to be sexy) and Dan (trying to channel the testosterone of Captain Picard, James Bond, and any male he can think of) finally, FINALLY, have their date. And it's really awkward and horrible and sexy and all based on field research.

If you like this, hell, even if you hate this....Post a comment so I know you're out there.

Love and kisses,

Tanya

Click on title below to listen:

Easy Does It CH 19

Easy Does It Ch 11&12

Kevin Masters poses as Dan and sets Dan up with a for sure thing: Easy Lady. Dan would rather play with his cube. Rubick's Cube, that is. Click below:

Easy Does It 11 and 12

Hot Summer Cool Breeze Part 5 END

For some reason, I can't get iTunes to podcast this one, so I'm reposting the finale:

Hot Summer Cool Breeze Pt. 5

Hot Summer Cool Breeze Part 2

The saga continues...

Hot Summer Cool Breeze Pt. 2